In 2009, during my Freshman year of High School, my world collapsed under the weight of emotions I didn’t fully understand. In an alcohol-induced blackout on New Year’s Eve, drowning in hopelessness, I overdosed on Tylenol. By the time I could remember what I had done, three days had passed, and my liver was in critical condition. My liver enzymes had risen to levels above 40,000, and my body had suffered several blood pressure spikes, bringing me perilously close to a stroke. It was an act born of pain—a desperate cry from someone who felt lost in the dark. Yet, by some miracle, I survived.
My recovery was nothing short of a medical marvel, made possible by the compassionate and skilled teams at Stephen’s Memorial Hospital, Maine Medical Center’s Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital, and the dedicated crew at Lifeflight of Maine. Their expertise and care saved my life. But recovery was more than just healing my body; it was about facing the deeper wounds—the mental and emotional scars—that had led me to that point. It was about finding ways to cope with the chaos surrounding my life at the time, and building better resilience to the challenges I faced in life.
Waking up in the aftermath of my attempt wasn’t easy. I was fragile, both physically and emotionally, and consumed by shame. But surviving forced me to confront the depth of my mental health struggles. It set me on a long and winding road toward healing—a journey filled with setbacks and doubts, but also with reclaimed hope and personal growth. Along the way, I discovered the transformative power of self-awareness, professional care, and a steadfast commitment to change. I had many clinicians along the way that contributed to my healing, and taught me mechanisms and strategies for coping that I still practice today.
Sobriety became another cornerstone of my journey. On July 29, 2020, I made the decision to live a life free from mind-altering substances, including alcohol and marijuana, after falling into the grips of addiction in college. This choice was critical for my mental and physical well-being, ensuring that my prescribed medications worked effectively and allowing me to return to healthier coping mechanisms. Sobriety has brought me clarity, strength, and a deeper understanding of what it means to live authentically. It brought me community, connection, and a deeper relationship with a Higher Power. It’s a decision that made it possible for me to begin my work in the field as a first responder.
That defining chapter began in November of 2020 when I found a new sense of purpose in the field of emergency medical services. I started out driving an ambulance at a rural service, became an EMT in 2021, and took the next step by becoming a firefighter in 2022. Today, I work in the emergency department of one of Maine’s largest hospitals, using my EMT license to provide care and comfort to patients during some of their most difficult moments. These roles have not only helped me find meaning in my own life but have also allowed me to connect deeply with others in life-changing ways.
Working at different levels in the field of emergency services has shaped my understanding of resilience and purpose. It’s not just about the care we provide in the heat of the moment—it’s about what happens after the sirens fade and the adrenaline wears off. I’ve seen firsthand how stress and trauma can take a toll on first responders. That’s why I’ve made it my mission to support my peers, helping them navigate the unique challenges of our work. I strive to be a voice that says, “You are not alone,” to the men and women who dedicate their lives to saving others.
The urgency of addressing mental health in emergency services is undeniable.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), firefighters and law enforcement officers are more likely to die by suicide than in the line of duty. EMS clinicians are also more likely to take their own lives compared to the general public.
To anyone reading this who is struggling: you are not defined by your darkest moments. Healing is possible, and there is a future filled with purpose and connection waiting for you. Whether you’re grappling with mental health challenges, substance use, or the weight of trauma, it’s okay to ask for help. You are not a burden. The path may be long, and it may be difficult, but every small step you take is a step toward strength and resilience.
Remember that you are not alone in this journey. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand your struggles and can walk beside you as you heal. Embrace the process of self-discovery, be patient with yourself, and celebrate every victory, no matter how small. Transformation takes time, but it is possible. And on the other side, there is a brighter, more fulfilling life waiting for you.
Let us work together to break the stigma, advocate for better mental health care, and create a culture of support and understanding. Together, we can ensure that even in the darkest hours, no one feels they have to face their struggles alone. There is hope, and the life that follows can be brighter, and more filled with joy, than you ever imagined.
Mind Over Mayday 
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