Mind Over Mayday

Tag: life-style

  • The Emotional Backpack: What We Carry Home After Every Shift

    The Emotional Backpack: What We Carry Home After Every Shift

    Every first responder knows the feeling of coming home after a tough shift—the weight that follows you through the door, the mental replay of a critical call, or the silence that fills the space where words fail. This invisible weight, often referred to as “emotional residue,” builds up over time, creating what I call The Emotional Backpack.

    We may not realize how full that backpack is until it spills over, affecting not just our well-being but also our personal relationships.

    What’s in the Backpack?

    Each call we respond to leaves something behind. For some, it’s the heartache of comforting a grieving family. For others, it’s the frustration of a chaotic scene or the stress of making split-second decisions. Even the calls that go “smoothly” can leave behind fatigue and emotional drain.

    We don’t leave these moments behind when we clock out. Instead, they come home with us, shaping how we interact with our loved ones. This can show up as:

    • Irritability or withdrawal: Small things may trigger disproportionate reactions, or we might disengage entirely.

    • Difficulty communicating: It’s not always easy to find the words to explain what we’ve been through—or to decide whether we want to share at all.

    • Emotional unavailability: Being emotionally drained at work can leave little energy for connection at home.

    Over time, this can create distance in our relationships, strain communication, and leave loved ones feeling shut out.

    How to Leave Work Stress at the Door

    While we can’t avoid the emotional impact of the job, we can take steps to manage how much of it we bring home. Here are some strategies to help lighten the load of that emotional backpack:

    1. Create a Transition Ritual

    Give yourself a buffer between work and home. This could be listening to music on the drive, taking a walk, or even sitting quietly for a few minutes before stepping inside. These moments of intentional transition can help you shift gears mentally and emotionally.

    2. Offload the Backpack

    Find ways to process what you’ve been through. Talk to a trusted colleague, write in a journal, or seek professional support if needed. Sharing your thoughts—even if only with yourself—can reduce their weight.

    3. Set Boundaries

    While it’s important to share parts of your workday with your loved ones, it’s equally important to protect your personal space from becoming an extension of your job. Be honest about your need to decompress, but also make space for meaningful connection.

    4. Practice Mindfulness

    Grounding techniques like deep breathing or meditation can help bring you into the present moment, reducing anxiety and helping you leave the intensity of work behind.

    5. Nurture Personal Connections

    Make a conscious effort to engage with your family or friends. Even small acts, like asking about their day or planning quality time, can strengthen bonds and remind you of the support system you have.

    6. Prioritize Self-Care

    Regular exercise, adequate sleep, and balanced nutrition are essential for maintaining emotional resilience. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for showing up fully at work and at home.

    The Ripple Effect

    As first responders, we pride ourselves on being strong and dependable. But true strength comes from acknowledging the impact of the job and taking steps to manage it. When we learn to offload some of the emotional residue we carry, we’re not only helping ourselves—we’re showing up better for the people who matter most.

    Your emotional backpack doesn’t have to weigh you down. By practicing self-awareness, setting boundaries, and nurturing personal relationships, you can keep work stress from spilling into your home life, creating space for joy, connection, and peace.

    So, the next time you walk through your door, ask yourself: What am I carrying? And what can I set down?

  • Using TIPP to Manage Emotional Distress After Traumatic Calls

    Using TIPP to Manage Emotional Distress After Traumatic Calls

    First responders often face high-stress, emotionally taxing situations that can lead to overwhelming emotions after a traumatic call. TIPP (Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, Progressive relaxation) provides actionable strategies to manage these feelings effectively. These practices have each helped me tremendously after intense or traumatizing calls. Here’s how first responders can use each component:

    T – Temperature: Cool Your System

    Trauma can cause your body to go into fight-or-flight mode, escalating emotional intensity. Using cold temperatures can help calm your nervous system.

    • How to Apply:

    • Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack against your cheeks for 30 seconds.

    • Use cold compresses on your neck or wrists.

    • If accessible, step into a cooler environment (e.g., an air-conditioned space).

    • Why it Works:

    Cooling your body activates the mammalian dive reflex, which slows your heart rate and reduces stress.

    I – Intense Exercise: Burn Off Energy

    After a traumatic call, adrenaline and cortisol levels spike, leading to physical restlessness and emotional overwhelm. Intense exercise provides a healthy outlet.

    • How to Apply:

    • Do 30-60 seconds of jumping jacks, push-ups, or sprinting.

    • Engage in vigorous activities like running stairs or shadowboxing.

    • If at your station, consider using available equipment like kettlebells or a treadmill.

    • Why it Works:

    Intense movement burns off excess stress hormones, re-regulating your body and mind.

    P – Paced Breathing: Reclaim Control

    Hyperventilation often accompanies emotional distress. Paced breathing counters this by slowing your breath and calming your body.

    • How to Apply:

    • Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds.

    • Hold your breath for 4 seconds.

    • Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6-8 seconds.

    • Repeat this pattern for 1-2 minutes.

    • Why it Works:

    Deliberate breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system, helping reduce feelings of panic or overwhelm.

    P – Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Release Tension

    Trauma often causes physical tension. Progressive relaxation helps release that tension and refocus your mind.

    • How to Apply:

    • Start with your toes: tense the muscles tightly for 5-10 seconds, then release.

    • Gradually work upwards through your legs, torso, arms, and face.

    • Pair this exercise with deep, slow breathing for added relaxation.

    • Why it Works:

    This technique reduces physical tension associated with stress and anchors you in the present moment.

    When to Use TIPP

    First responders can use TIPP immediately after a traumatic call, during a quiet moment at the station, or at home when distress surfaces. These techniques are portable, require no special tools, and work quickly to lower emotional intensity.

    By incorporating TIPP into self-care routines, first responders can process trauma effectively, reduce emotional overload, and maintain mental well-being. Remember, seeking additional support from peers or mental health professionals is always encouraged.

  • Why We Keep Showing Up: Exploring the Deep Sense of Purpose and Pride in First Responder Work

    Why We Keep Showing Up: Exploring the Deep Sense of Purpose and Pride in First Responder Work

    Imagine a world without the 911 system. A world where emergencies relied on word-of-mouth or outdated technology, with response times stretching into hours instead of minutes. It’s not some far-off dystopian concept—this was reality less than a century ago.

    In Maine, the 911 system as we know it today only came into existence in the 1970s. Before that, the state relied on what was called the “red phone system.” Red phones, located in specific public locations, were hardwired to contact a trained responder’s home directly. There were no cell phones, no coordinated networks—just landlines and limited accessibility.

    In those days, people were far more likely to die before reaching medical care. Fires destroyed homes more frequently because of delayed response times and limited resources. And yet, first responders stepped up, even in those challenging conditions. They became a lifeline, often volunteering their time to serve their communities because they understood the stakes.

    Flash forward to today: technology has advanced, our equipment has improved, and the 911 system is a highly coordinated network capable of dispatching fire, police, and EMS to nearly any corner of the country. But our system is under immense pressure.

    With a wave of retirements looming and fewer individuals interested in entering the field, the future of emergency response looks uncertain. Those who do step into first responder roles often leave after only a few years, disillusioned by low pay, high stress, and a job that rarely matches the glorified image portrayed in movies or TV shows. Many never fully understand what keeps those of us who stay going.

    So, why do we keep showing up?

    Because Lives Depend on It

    Every call has the potential to save a life. Whether it’s reviving someone in cardiac arrest, pulling a child from a burning building, or simply being a reassuring presence in someone’s darkest hour, the work we do matters. We see firsthand what happens when help doesn’t arrive in time—and that knowledge fuels our drive.

    Because It’s Who We Are

    First responders share a unique bond, rooted in a sense of duty and purpose. We’re not just responding to emergencies; we’re showing up for our communities in their most vulnerable moments. That sense of responsibility becomes a part of who we are.

    Because We Believe in a Greater Good

    Even in a system stretched to its limits, we show up because we know the alternative is unacceptable. The thought of a world where 911 calls go unanswered or delayed for hours is unfathomable. We believe in protecting the system that has become a lifeline for so many.

    Because We’re Proud of Our Legacy

    First response is a tradition. For decades, people have stepped up to serve in this field, often at great personal cost. We carry that torch, honoring the sacrifices of those who came before us.

    Because We’re Not Done Fighting

    Yes, there are challenges—staffing shortages, burnout, and a lack of resources. But for those of us who stay, there’s a drive to be part of the solution. We want to leave this field better than we found it, to advocate for change, and to inspire the next generation of responders to pick up where we leave off.

    The Road Ahead

    The future of emergency response is at a crossroads. Without intervention—better pay, better mental health support, and better recruitment efforts—the system could face collapse. But if we’ve learned anything from history, it’s that first responders have always risen to the challenge.

    To those of you considering this field: It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. You’ll find a sense of purpose unlike anything else. And you’ll join a community of people who show up, day after day, not because it’s easy, but because it’s needed.

    For those of us already in the field, let this be a reminder: what we do matters. We are part of something greater than ourselves.

    And that’s why we keep showing up.

  • The Legacies We Leave: Building a Safer, More Peaceful World

    The Legacies We Leave: Building a Safer, More Peaceful World

    When I think about the legacy I hope to leave, my heart is drawn to the idea of creating a safer, more peaceful world. I’ve always wanted to make a difference, not just in my community, but on a larger scale. It’s something that has been deeply rooted in my heart since I became a mother.

    When my son Henry was younger, he was obsessed with Paw Patrol—a show about pups that go on rescue missions, always there to help keep their community safe. I remember watching him light up as the characters worked together to solve problems and protect others. And in those moments, I realized that I wanted to be my son’s real-life “Paw Patrol” hero. It wasn’t just about being there for him; it was about showing him that there’s strength in service and that anyone, regardless of gender or background, can make a meaningful impact.

    As a female in the male-dominated world of first responders, I hope to inspire my daughter, Alice, to see that there are no limits to what she can accomplish. I want her to grow up knowing that the world is full of possibilities, and that she can break down any barriers she encounters on her own path.

    I’ve always felt a calling to give back to the field that has saved my life countless times. My work as an EMT and firefighter isn’t just about responding to emergencies—it’s about serving others during their darkest moments. Whether I’m helping a patient in crisis or supporting someone in the recovery community, I want my actions to make a difference.

    The tragedy of 9/11 was a pivotal moment for me as a young child, one that introduced my passion for community service and the role of emergency responders. In the aftermath of those attacks, I watched in awe as our nation came together—across all levels, classes, and cultures—in a show of unity and compassion. That moment solidified my belief in the power of community and service.

    Mister Rogers is famously quoted, saying the following, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

    Before joining the first responder community, I studied policy in college with a focus on global issues. But I soon became disillusioned by the political divisions I witnessed when I worked in Washington, D.C. I wanted to be part of something that united people, that focused on service above all else. I realized that the work I do on the ground, directly helping people, is where real change happens. Each word I say to a patient in crisis could help them heal, process their emotions, or simply hold on for another moment. And every step I take in the recovery community could encourage someone to stay sober, to keep fighting for their own life.

    Starting this blog is another step in my journey. My hope is to create a space for open-mindedness and vulnerability, where we can talk about the challenges we face as healthcare professionals and first responders. I want to inspire others to reach out when they’re struggling, to be brave enough to ask for help, and to build a community that supports one another through our trauma and challenges.

    Our 911 system is under more pressure than ever before. Personnel are stretched thin, burnout is a constant threat, and mental health services for first responders are often underfunded or inadequate. But the more we advocate for better support systems, the stronger our community becomes. By nurturing the newer generation of first responders, we create a safer environment not just for ourselves, but for the families and communities we serve. This is the legacy I want to leave: a world where future generations grow up in a safer, more compassionate environment, and a community where we support one another—every single day.