Mind Over Mayday

Tag: mental-health

  • How to Use the 5 Blinks Method to Overcome Intrusive Traumatic Images

    How to Use the 5 Blinks Method to Overcome Intrusive Traumatic Images

    Intrusive images and flashbacks can feel overwhelming and disorienting, but the 5 Blinks Method is a quick and effective technique to regain control of your mind and focus on the present. This simple practice uses a combination of grounding and mindfulness to help redirect your attention and soothe your nervous system. This technique was introduced to me by a licensed therapist, and has been extremely helpful for me when I’ve dealt with traumatic calls and scenes, both in the field and in the hospital.

    Step-by-Step Guide to the 5 Blinks Method

    1. Identify the Intrusive Image

    • When you notice an intrusive image or memory, acknowledge it without judgment.

    • Say to yourself: “This is just a thought, not my reality right now.”

    2. Take a Deep Breath

    • Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds.

    • This activates the parasympathetic nervous system to help you calm down.

    3. Blink Five Times Slowly

    • Blink deliberately and slowly five times.

    • Each blink acts as a symbolic “reset” for your brain, helping to break the cycle of intrusive thoughts.

    4. Visualize Sending the Image Away

    • Close your eyes.

    • Imagine the intrusive image as a photograph, or a film reel- an object or something tangible.

    • Now imagine a box big enough to fit the image-object.

    • Visualize placing the image-object into the box and sending that box as far away in your mind as possible, watching it get smaller and smaller, until it completely disappears in the distance.

    • Take a deep breath

    5. Blink Five Times Slowly

    • Blink deliberately and slowly five times.

    • Repeat a grounding statement or positive affirmation to yourself, such as:

    • “I am here in this moment.”

    • “I did everything I could.”

    • “Life happens on life’s terms.”

    6. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment

    • With your eyes open, identify five things you can see.

    • Say them out loud or in your mind.

    7. Move a Muscle, Change a Thought

    • Find something that you can focus your entire attention on- something physical such as going for a walk outside, cleaning something, or opt for a quick workout. Physical activity has a number of benefits, including grounding yourself in your body, releasing endorphins, and even boosting serotonin.

    • Other mind-consuming activities can help too- like playing a game on your phone, having a conversation with someone, or watching an interesting show or movie.

    8. Repeat as Many Times as Needed

    • If the image is resistant and continues to intrude, repeat steps 1-6 as many times as needed, while still trying to find something you can completely and mindfully focus on.

    Additional Tips for Success

    • Practice Regularly: The more you use the 5 Blinks Method, the quicker your brain will recognize it as a tool to refocus.

    • Pair with Deep Breathing: Combining the method with paced breathing enhances its calming effect.

    • Use a Support Object: Hold a grounding object, like a smooth stone, while practicing. (I use a short piece of thin rope that has a knot tied on one end- because when you get to the end of your rope, you tie a knot and hold on!)

    Other Distress Tolerance Techniques to Explore

    The 5 Blinks Method is just one of many strategies to manage distress and intrusive thoughts. Stay tuned for future posts where we’ll explore other effective techniques:

    1. TIPP Skills – Using temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, and paired muscle relaxation to lower emotional intensity.

    2. Grounding Techniques – Detailed practices like the 5-4-3-2-1 method and body scans.

    3. Opposite Action – Redirecting overwhelming emotions by taking an action opposite to the urge.

    4. Distraction Toolkit – Creating a personalized box or bag of items and activities to help refocus during moments of distress.

    5. Mindful Visualization – Replacing intrusive images with a safe or peaceful mental scene.

    Final Thoughts

    The 5 Blinks Method is a powerful, portable tool to help you navigate intrusive traumatic images. It works by engaging your senses and redirecting your focus, allowing you to move forward without being stuck in the past. Remember, it’s okay to seek additional support from a trusted counselor or peer support group as you work through these challenges.

    You’ve got this—one breath at a time.

  • Why We Keep Showing Up: Exploring the Deep Sense of Purpose and Pride in First Responder Work

    Why We Keep Showing Up: Exploring the Deep Sense of Purpose and Pride in First Responder Work

    Imagine a world without the 911 system. A world where emergencies relied on word-of-mouth or outdated technology, with response times stretching into hours instead of minutes. It’s not some far-off dystopian concept—this was reality less than a century ago.

    In Maine, the 911 system as we know it today only came into existence in the 1970s. Before that, the state relied on what was called the “red phone system.” Red phones, located in specific public locations, were hardwired to contact a trained responder’s home directly. There were no cell phones, no coordinated networks—just landlines and limited accessibility.

    In those days, people were far more likely to die before reaching medical care. Fires destroyed homes more frequently because of delayed response times and limited resources. And yet, first responders stepped up, even in those challenging conditions. They became a lifeline, often volunteering their time to serve their communities because they understood the stakes.

    Flash forward to today: technology has advanced, our equipment has improved, and the 911 system is a highly coordinated network capable of dispatching fire, police, and EMS to nearly any corner of the country. But our system is under immense pressure.

    With a wave of retirements looming and fewer individuals interested in entering the field, the future of emergency response looks uncertain. Those who do step into first responder roles often leave after only a few years, disillusioned by low pay, high stress, and a job that rarely matches the glorified image portrayed in movies or TV shows. Many never fully understand what keeps those of us who stay going.

    So, why do we keep showing up?

    Because Lives Depend on It

    Every call has the potential to save a life. Whether it’s reviving someone in cardiac arrest, pulling a child from a burning building, or simply being a reassuring presence in someone’s darkest hour, the work we do matters. We see firsthand what happens when help doesn’t arrive in time—and that knowledge fuels our drive.

    Because It’s Who We Are

    First responders share a unique bond, rooted in a sense of duty and purpose. We’re not just responding to emergencies; we’re showing up for our communities in their most vulnerable moments. That sense of responsibility becomes a part of who we are.

    Because We Believe in a Greater Good

    Even in a system stretched to its limits, we show up because we know the alternative is unacceptable. The thought of a world where 911 calls go unanswered or delayed for hours is unfathomable. We believe in protecting the system that has become a lifeline for so many.

    Because We’re Proud of Our Legacy

    First response is a tradition. For decades, people have stepped up to serve in this field, often at great personal cost. We carry that torch, honoring the sacrifices of those who came before us.

    Because We’re Not Done Fighting

    Yes, there are challenges—staffing shortages, burnout, and a lack of resources. But for those of us who stay, there’s a drive to be part of the solution. We want to leave this field better than we found it, to advocate for change, and to inspire the next generation of responders to pick up where we leave off.

    The Road Ahead

    The future of emergency response is at a crossroads. Without intervention—better pay, better mental health support, and better recruitment efforts—the system could face collapse. But if we’ve learned anything from history, it’s that first responders have always risen to the challenge.

    To those of you considering this field: It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. You’ll find a sense of purpose unlike anything else. And you’ll join a community of people who show up, day after day, not because it’s easy, but because it’s needed.

    For those of us already in the field, let this be a reminder: what we do matters. We are part of something greater than ourselves.

    And that’s why we keep showing up.

  • From Darkness to Purpose: How I Found My Calling Through Sobriety

    From Darkness to Purpose: How I Found My Calling Through Sobriety

    I still remember the sound of the bottle opening—the sharp hiss of pressure released. It was my signal to exhale, to let go of the stress, to numb the fears I couldn’t face. It began innocently enough, a glass of wine here, a drink there, just to take the edge off after a long day. I was juggling so much at the time: graduate school, single motherhood, and a leadership role at the University of Maine, managing nearly 60 senators representing every graduate program. The weight of it all was enormous, but I was proud of how well I seemed to handle it—at least on the surface.

    Then came 2020.

    The Covid pandemic didn’t just disrupt the world around me; it unraveled the fragile thread holding me together. As a leader during such an uncertain time, I felt a responsibility to remain calm and composed. But inside, I was breaking apart. To cope, I began drinking more—just enough to calm my nerves. It felt harmless at first, even justified. After all, wasn’t everyone finding their own ways to deal with the stress?

    What I didn’t realize was how quickly alcohol had taken hold of my life. What started as an occasional escape became my crutch. Then, seemingly overnight, it became my master. I couldn’t sleep without it. I couldn’t wake up without it. The shakes, the headaches, the constant anxiety—it all demanded I drink just to function. And yet, I was still showing up, still leading, still pretending everything was fine.

    But it wasn’t fine.

    My dependence on alcohol grew in the shadows, invisible to those around me. I was isolated in leadership, feeling like I had no one I could turn to for support. So I turned to the bottle instead. Alcohol became my confidant, my escape, and my prison.

    In just a few months, my life crumbled.

    The responsibilities I had once carried with pride became unbearable. My credibility eroded as the people around me began to see the cracks in the façade. I lost opportunities I had worked so hard to earn. I lost the respect of others, but worse, I lost respect for myself.

    At my lowest point, I found myself sleeping in my car. I had gone from a self-supporting single mom in graduate school and leadership to a homeless woman with nothing but a pile of shattered dreams. My rock bottom wasn’t just a moment; it was a freefall into despair.

    But here’s the thing about rock bottom—it’s also a foundation.

    My recovery started with small, painful steps. Admitting I needed help. Reaching out to people I thought I had alienated forever. Facing the shame and guilt I had drowned for so long. I had to rebuild my life piece by piece, brick by brick, with nothing but the will to survive and a faint hope that maybe—just maybe—I could do better.

    In sobriety, I began to discover not just who I was, but who I was meant to be. My life had been saved—many times, in many ways—by the hands of first responders and healthcare workers. Their compassion and courage became a beacon for me, lighting the way forward. I decided I wanted to give back to the very field that had saved me.

    I became an EMT, then a firefighter, and later found my place in healthcare, working in an emergency department. For the first time, I felt like I was part of something greater than myself. I had found my calling—a purpose that made my pain feel meaningful.

    This work doesn’t just encourage my sobriety; it demands it. I could not perform this job effectively if I weren’t committed to maintaining my recovery. The same tools I once ignored or dismissed—self-awareness, stress management, healthy coping strategies—are now essential to my success. Every shift is a reminder of how far I’ve come and why I must keep moving forward.

    I’ve replaced the bottle with better tools: mindfulness, connection, and a deep commitment to serving others. Instead of running from my emotions, I’ve learned to process them, to face the hard days head-on, and to find strength in vulnerability.

    The irony isn’t lost on me that the career I once feared would judge me for my past has become my greatest ally in staying sober. In helping others, I’ve also helped myself.

    Today, I am not just sober—I am alive, awake, and thriving. I am proud of the person I’ve become, but I never forget the woman I was. She’s the reason I fight so hard to stay on this path.

    If you’re reading this and struggling, I want you to know it’s never too late to rewrite your story. Recovery is possible. A life of purpose and joy is waiting for you on the other side.

    Because sometimes, the worst chapters of our lives are the ones that teach us how to write our best.

  • Adapting to 12-Hour Night Shifts: Maintaining Health, Focus, and Well-Being

    Adapting to 12-Hour Night Shifts: Maintaining Health, Focus, and Well-Being

    As a first responder and healthcare professional working long and irregular hours, adapting to a 12-hour night shift schedule since working in the hospital has been a journey. Not only do I need to manage the physical demands of my work, but I also need to maintain my mental health and overall well-being. The stress of working night shifts, along with the strain on my sleep schedule, can be overwhelming. Over time, I’ve developed strategies that have helped me stay healthy and alert, both during my shifts and in the time between. This post will walk you through the practical changes I’ve made to stay on top of my health, including my approach to sleep hygiene, mental health medication, and adapting my routines to ensure I’m getting the rest I need.

    1. Mastering Sleep Hygiene for Night Shifts

    Working night shifts means adjusting your body’s natural circadian rhythm, which is the internal biological clock that regulates your sleep-wake cycle. This can be tough, especially if you’re used to being awake during the day. The key to making it work lies in creating strong sleep hygiene practices that ensure you get quality rest, even during the day when the world around you is awake.

    To ensure good sleep hygiene, I’ve taken the following steps:

    • Create a dark, quiet, and cool environment: I use blackout curtains and earplugs to block out light and noise, as these can disrupt my ability to fall asleep during the day.
    • Limit screen time: The blue light from screens can mess with the production of melatonin, the hormone that helps you sleep. I avoid screens for at least an hour before sleep.
    • Keep a consistent sleep schedule: Even though I’m working different hours, I try to stick to a regular routine. This helps my body adjust and keeps my circadian rhythm as balanced as possible.

    By sticking to these sleep practices, I’ve been able to get solid, restorative sleep, even with a rotating night shift schedule.

    2. Adjusting My Medication Schedule for Effectiveness

    For someone who has struggled with mental health in the past, finding the right medication regimen is crucial. Since working night shifts, I’ve had to make adjustments to my medication schedule to ensure they are working effectively when I’m awake and alert.

    I take certainmedications in the evening, right before I start my shift, such as my anti-psychotic, and my non-amphetamine stimulants, ensuring they’re active during the night. I take my mood stabilizer, vitamins, and LifeVantage supplements at the same time in the morning every day, regardless of whether I’m working. This helps keep me balanced and focused throughout my shift while still getting the proper amount of rest when it’s time for sleep.

    When I’m not working, I’ll typically skip my stimulants for the first day that I’m off, so that I don’t take a double-dose within a 24-hour period. This also allows my body to reset to being awake during the day and asleep at night since I tend to group my shifts together so that I spend about half the week on nightshift schedule, and the other half on a regular schedule. When I’m preparing to start my nightshift schedule again, I’ll typically stay up late the night before my shift, skip my stimulants in the morning, stay wake for a few hours in the morning, and then sleep during the day. I’ll then start my nightshift routines and regimen again.

    Disclaimer- Work with a psychiatrist on altering and adapting your mental health medication regimen. Do not make changes independently. These licensed professionals can guide you on the best regimen to fit your schedule.

    3. Bidding Farewell to Energy Drinks: A Game-Changer

    Energy drinks had once been a major part of my night shift routine. I was consuming 3-4 Celsius or Monster drinks per shift to stay awake and alert. At first, they seemed to give me the energy boost I needed, but soon I realized they were wreaking havoc on my body.

    The sugar and caffeine spikes from energy drinks led to erratic energy levels, making me crash several times during, and after my shift. I also noticed that I had intense sugar cravings, and my mood would dip after the energy high wore off. These highs and lows affected my concentration, mood, and overall sense of well-being.

    That’s when I got introduced to AXIO by LifeVantage. AXIO provides a clean, sustained energy boost without the crash. It’s not only helped me stay alert throughout my shift, but I’ve also noticed a significant decrease in sugar cravings, better mental clarity, and even weight loss. This switch has been a game-changer, and I now feel much more in control of my energy levels.

    4. Managing Stress Hormones and Oxidative Stress with Protandim

    Night shifts can affect more than just your sleep cycle—they can significantly alter your hormone and neurochemical pathways, contributing to chronic stress. Working at night increases cortisol levels (the body’s primary stress hormone) and disrupts the natural balance of other hormones that regulate mood, appetite, and sleep.

    The body’s response to night shifts causes an increase in oxidative stress—when free radicals overwhelm the body’s ability to neutralize them, leading to damage in cells, tissues, and organs. With regular, restorative sleep, these free radicals get flushed out by the body, but when having sleep disruptions or changes in sleep pattern due to night shifts, this does not happen as effectively. Over time and with age, we tend to hold on to more and more free radicals in our bodies, this can contribute to various health problems, including burnout, chronic fatigue, and even cardiovascular issues.

    I’ve found that Protandim by LifeVantage has been instrumental in helping me manage stress hormones and oxidative stress. Protandim is an antioxidant supplement that helps the body combat oxidative stress, reduce inflammation, and support overall health. Since I’ve started using it, I’ve noticed a significant reduction in my feelings of being “on-edge” all the time, and I feel more balanced in my mental and emotional health. This has been crucial in helping me manage the stress of my job and the irregular hours that come with it.

    5. Power Naps: The Secret to Staying Alert

    Sometimes, a full night’s sleep isn’t always possible, especially when working long shifts. That’s why I’ve found that taking a short, strategic nap during my shift can work wonders for my alertness and energy levels. Even just a 15-20 minute nap can be incredibly refreshing.

    During my lunch break or downtime, I’ll take a quick nap in my car or a quiet area at the hospital. This short rest gives me a boost of energy, reduces fatigue, and helps me stay sharp for the second half of my shift. You’d be surprised what even a brief nap can do for your focus and clarity- just make sure you remember to set an alarm!

    I will also take short naps during the days when I’m off and adapting to being awake during the day, and asleep at night. Because of the higher demands on our bodies from a challenging schedule and the work we do, it is natural to feel more tired regardless of how regimented we are. Allowing the space for my body to feel fatigued, is essential. Listening to my body’s needs and allowing for moments of rest when I need them is key to my well-being.

    6. Creating Morning and Night Routines

    Another key factor in adapting to night shifts is maintaining a routine when you wake up, regardless of the time. For me, brewing a pot of fresh coffee or engaging in a calming ritual helps signal to my body that it’s time to wake up. I try to incorporate some form of self-care into my morning and evening routine, such as stretching, to get my body moving before I start my day (or night).

    After work, I have a winding-down routine that helps me relax and prepare for sleep. This includes avoiding intense physical activity right before bed and engaging in calming activities like reading or light stretching.

    7. Adjusting My Appointment Schedule

    I’ve found it helpful to schedule my medical appointments and personal tasks around my sleep schedule. I try to book my appointments for midday, regardless of whether I’m working, allowing me to sleep in the morning after my shift and before I need to wake up for the next one. This ensures that I’m getting adequate rest and that my body is prepared for the demands of the next shift.

    8. Understanding the Neurochemical and Hormonal Effects of Night Shifts

    Night shifts don’t just affect sleep—they also alter the neurochemical and hormonal pathways in our body. When we work at night, it disrupts the secretion of melatonin, the hormone that regulates sleep, and increases the production of cortisol, the stress hormone. This is why night shift workers often feel more stressed and have a harder time adjusting to irregular hours.

    Additionally, night shifts can impact neurotransmitters like serotonin, which regulates mood and sleep. Disruptions in serotonin levels can lead to feelings of irritability, anxiety, and depression. Over time, these disruptions can result in chronic health problems.

    Fortunately, there are ways to mitigate these effects. Ensuring quality sleep hygiene, using stress-reducing supplements like Protandim, and staying active during your waking hours can all help keep your body’s neurochemical and hormonal levels in check.

    Final Thoughts: Prioritizing Your Health

    Adapting to a 12-hour night shift schedule is no easy task, but with the right strategies, it’s possible to stay healthy, alert, and balanced. The key lies in listening to your body and finding routines that work for you, from improving sleep hygiene to managing stress through medications, supplements and naps.

    By taking these steps, I’ve noticed a significant change in how my body handles the stress of night shifts. If you’re a healthcare worker or first responder, I encourage you to take control of your health and make these small but effective changes. Your well-being is worth it.

    A final note- DRINK MORE WATER! Drinking more water may seem simple, but it’s an essential part of staying healthy and energized during long, demanding shifts.

  • Finding Peace in the Wild: How Nature Became My Mental Health Sanctuary

    Finding Peace in the Wild: How Nature Became My Mental Health Sanctuary

    As first responders, we often find ourselves living in the fast lane, constantly on alert, managing crises, and navigating high-pressure situations that demand our focus, skill, and resilience. In the midst of this chaotic work life, I have found that one of the most essential tools in managing stress and maintaining my mental health has been connecting with nature.

    My journey to finding peace in the wild didn’t happen overnight, but as I’ve experienced the therapeutic power of the natural world, it has become an integral part of my self-care routine—something I actively seek out for restoration, clarity, and healing. Whether it’s a short walk along a river or an extended camping trip in the woods, these moments in nature have become my sanctuary, offering a sense of grounding that helps me process the emotional toll of my EMS career.

    Outdoor Experiences That Provide Peace and Clarity

    One of the most accessible places for me when time is short is the Androscoggin Riverwalk, in Lewiston-Auburn, and the Bragdon Hill Conservation area in Poland, ME. I’ve found that even a brief walk along the riverbanks or forest offers a mental reset, allowing me to pause and absorb the sights and sounds of the flowing water and wildlife. There’s something calming about the rhythm of the river, or a narrow trail, and it provides me with the space to let go of the stresses of the day.

    When I have more time, I often head to Mount Apatite or Streaked Mountain for a quick hike. The physical activity combined with the natural beauty of the forest helps to clear my mind and refresh my body. Hiking is a great way to disconnect from the noise of everyday life and connect with something much bigger than myself.

    For days when I need a longer getaway, I take a drive to the ocean, where the salty air and waves crashing against the rocks create the perfect environment for reflection. Fort Williams Park, in particular, is a favorite destination of mine. The trails are scenic and lead me to a rocky beach where I can listen to the waves tumbling over the stones. The sound is unlike anything else—it’s soothing, like nature’s own meditation.

    Screw Auger Falls in Newry, Maine, and the areas around the University of Southern Maine in Portland are other spots that I treasure, especially when I want to explore new places for creative inspiration, such as finding seaglass. These small treasures serve as a reminder that, even in the chaos of life, beauty can be found in the simplest moments.

    Technology-Free Camping for Deep Restoration

    When I’m able to get away for a longer stretch of time, there’s nothing more restorative than technology-free camping in the areas surrounding Rangeley, Maine. With no cell service, I am fully immersed in the natural world—no distractions, no screens. It’s just me, the sounds of the forest, and the peaceful serenity of being completely present.

    Some of my favorite activities during these camping trips include campfire meditations, kayak fishing, and paddleboarding. There’s something about being on the water, surrounded by quiet, that allows me to truly connect with myself. Whether I’m sitting quietly by a lake, a trickling stream, or gazing out at the ocean, these moments allow me to reflect and breathe deeply.

    Using Nature for Meditation

    Nature has become key to my meditation practice. The external sounds of the forest, the river, or the ocean provide a natural backdrop that helps me center my thoughts and focus. I use the sounds of birds chirping, water flowing, or waves crashing to quiet my mind and ground myself in the present. These moments of stillness in nature give me the mental space to process the trauma and stress of my job, while also reminding me of the peace that exists outside of the chaos.

    When I can’t physically be in nature, I’ve found solace in guided meditations with nature sounds or handpan music. Some of my favorite guided meditations can be found on YouTube, and I highly recommend them for anyone seeking a moment of calm. Here are a few of my go-to meditations:

    Tips for First Responders: Using Nature as a Healing Space

    If you’re a first responder like me, nature can be one of the most powerful tools for managing stress and enhancing mental health. Here are a few tips on how to incorporate nature into your healing routine:

    1. Start Small: If you’re pressed for time, a short walk in a local park or along a riverbank can offer a quick mental reset. Even five minutes can help clear your mind and alleviate stress.
    2. Make It a Habit: Schedule regular outings to nature, whether it’s a weekly hike, a monthly camping trip, or even a daily walk. Consistency helps train your mind to relax and find peace in nature’s rhythms.
    3. Embrace Technology-Free Time: Turn off your phone and leave your digital devices behind. Technology-free moments in nature help you focus on the present and disconnect from external pressures.
    4. Practice Nature-Based Meditation: Use the sounds of nature to guide your meditation practice. If you can’t get outside, seek out guided meditations that feature natural sounds like water flowing, wind blowing, or birds chirping.
    5. Engage in Outdoor Activities: Whether it’s hiking, kayaking, or simply sitting quietly by a stream, engaging in outdoor activities can provide both physical and mental restoration. Find what brings you peace and make time for it.

    Nature has become a sanctuary for me—a space where I can breathe, reflect, and find clarity. It offers a moment of respite from the chaos of my EMS career and provides the mental and emotional restoration I need to continue my work. As first responders, we give so much of ourselves to others, but we must also prioritize our own well-being. Nature has taught me that healing is possible when we take time to reconnect with the world around us, and I hope it can offer the same sense of peace and restoration to you.

  • The Legacies We Leave: Building a Safer, More Peaceful World

    The Legacies We Leave: Building a Safer, More Peaceful World

    When I think about the legacy I hope to leave, my heart is drawn to the idea of creating a safer, more peaceful world. I’ve always wanted to make a difference, not just in my community, but on a larger scale. It’s something that has been deeply rooted in my heart since I became a mother.

    When my son Henry was younger, he was obsessed with Paw Patrol—a show about pups that go on rescue missions, always there to help keep their community safe. I remember watching him light up as the characters worked together to solve problems and protect others. And in those moments, I realized that I wanted to be my son’s real-life “Paw Patrol” hero. It wasn’t just about being there for him; it was about showing him that there’s strength in service and that anyone, regardless of gender or background, can make a meaningful impact.

    As a female in the male-dominated world of first responders, I hope to inspire my daughter, Alice, to see that there are no limits to what she can accomplish. I want her to grow up knowing that the world is full of possibilities, and that she can break down any barriers she encounters on her own path.

    I’ve always felt a calling to give back to the field that has saved my life countless times. My work as an EMT and firefighter isn’t just about responding to emergencies—it’s about serving others during their darkest moments. Whether I’m helping a patient in crisis or supporting someone in the recovery community, I want my actions to make a difference.

    The tragedy of 9/11 was a pivotal moment for me as a young child, one that introduced my passion for community service and the role of emergency responders. In the aftermath of those attacks, I watched in awe as our nation came together—across all levels, classes, and cultures—in a show of unity and compassion. That moment solidified my belief in the power of community and service.

    Mister Rogers is famously quoted, saying the following, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

    Before joining the first responder community, I studied policy in college with a focus on global issues. But I soon became disillusioned by the political divisions I witnessed when I worked in Washington, D.C. I wanted to be part of something that united people, that focused on service above all else. I realized that the work I do on the ground, directly helping people, is where real change happens. Each word I say to a patient in crisis could help them heal, process their emotions, or simply hold on for another moment. And every step I take in the recovery community could encourage someone to stay sober, to keep fighting for their own life.

    Starting this blog is another step in my journey. My hope is to create a space for open-mindedness and vulnerability, where we can talk about the challenges we face as healthcare professionals and first responders. I want to inspire others to reach out when they’re struggling, to be brave enough to ask for help, and to build a community that supports one another through our trauma and challenges.

    Our 911 system is under more pressure than ever before. Personnel are stretched thin, burnout is a constant threat, and mental health services for first responders are often underfunded or inadequate. But the more we advocate for better support systems, the stronger our community becomes. By nurturing the newer generation of first responders, we create a safer environment not just for ourselves, but for the families and communities we serve. This is the legacy I want to leave: a world where future generations grow up in a safer, more compassionate environment, and a community where we support one another—every single day.

  • The Healing Power of Being Vulnerable

    The Healing Power of Being Vulnerable

    As first responders, we are often taught to be strong and unwavering in the face of chaos. We are trained to handle the worst moments in people’s lives, keeping our composure when the pressure is on. While this strength is vital in our line of work, it can sometimes lead us to neglect a powerful tool for healing: vulnerability.

    For many of us in high-stress professions like EMS, it’s easy to think that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. We may fear that revealing our struggles or sharing our emotions might jeopardize our professional reputation or the trust others place in us. But here’s the truth: vulnerability is not a weakness; it is a profound strength that allows for growth, connection, and healing.

    The Strength in Vulnerability

    Vulnerability doesn’t mean being weak or incapable—it’s about being open and honest with ourselves and others about our challenges. It means acknowledging that we are human and that we face emotional, physical, and mental struggles, even in a job that requires us to be “on” all the time.

    I’ve had my own experiences with vulnerability. In my journey, I’ve learned that the moments when I have been open about my own mental health struggles, my fears, and my insecurities are the moments when I’ve experienced the most growth. It’s when I allowed myself to be vulnerable—whether by talking to a trusted colleague, a mentor, or even writing down my thoughts on my blog—that healing began to take place.

    Unfortunately, not everyone in this field is encouraged to embrace vulnerability. I’ve witnessed many colleagues shrug off their experiences, adopting the mindset that showing any sign of weakness is unacceptable. Too often, people turn to substances like alcohol to numb their emotions instead of opening up to others. The pressure to “tough it out” can create a toxic environment where the mentality becomes, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the field.”

    This environment not only inhibits personal growth but also perpetuates a cycle of isolation and self-destruction. When vulnerability is seen as a weakness, it becomes harder for people to reach out for help when they need it the most. I’ve seen this firsthand—the silent struggles that so many face because they fear being judged or misunderstood.

    Healing Through Connection

    One of the most powerful aspects of vulnerability is how it fosters connection. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we invite others to do the same. This mutual openness can be transformative.

    Throughout my career, I’ve been fortunate to find trusted peers and mentors who are always there for me when I need them. These are the people who have shown me that there is strength in vulnerability, and that we don’t have to carry our burdens alone. I know that when I pick up the phone to call, they’ll be on the other end of the line, ready to listen and offer support.

    Surprisingly, many people are more open to talking through our struggles, and sharing their own experiences than we might think. The truth is, people would rather drive many miles, talk for hours, and offer their support than have to attend your funeral. This kind of connection is not only meaningful—it’s lifesaving.

    In my journey, I’ve learned that the power of a simple conversation cannot be underestimated. Sometimes, all it takes is someone else’s willingness to listen and share their own experiences to make us feel seen and understood. We heal when we come together, when we recognize that we are part of a larger family, and that our struggles are shared.

    Embracing Vulnerability to Build Resilience

    I’ve learned that resilience isn’t about pushing through in silence or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. True resilience is rooted in vulnerability—the ability to admit when we’re struggling and to seek the support we need. It’s about understanding that strength comes not from being invulnerable, but from facing our difficulties head-on and allowing ourselves to be supported by others.

    By embracing vulnerability, we can begin to unravel the layers of stress and trauma that come with our work. We can break free from the mindset that we have to handle everything alone and start recognizing that seeking help, sharing our emotions, and expressing our struggles makes us stronger, not weaker. When we embrace vulnerability, we not only improve our mental health but also deepen our connection with our colleagues and loved ones.

    Encouraging Others to Be Vulnerable

    If you’re reading this and finding it hard to imagine being open about your struggles, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to take the first step toward vulnerability. You don’t have to do it all at once, but start with small moments of openness. Share your thoughts with a colleague you trust, talk to a therapist, or simply give yourself permission to feel without judgment.

    Remember, being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. It’s an act of courage. By allowing ourselves to be seen, to share our emotions, and to seek support, we pave the way for healing and growth—not just for ourselves but for the entire first responder community.

    We are in this together. And together, we will heal.

  • Honoring Our Fallen: How to Cope with the Loss of a Colleague

    Honoring Our Fallen: How to Cope with the Loss of a Colleague

    Losing a colleague in the line of duty is one of the most painful and difficult experiences any first responder can face. Whether the loss is sudden or after a long battle, the weight of grief is a burden that we often carry silently, never fully knowing how to process the emotions that arise. As someone who has attended several memorials and funerals for fallen EMS professionals and firefighters, I want to share my personal experiences and offer advice on how we can cope with the loss of a colleague, while continuing to honor their memory and legacy.

    My First Experience: The Funeral of Sawyer Coleman

    My journey into understanding grief within the first responder community began with the funeral of Sawyer Coleman, a talented EMS professional and firefighter who tragically took his own life. He had worked his way from a Basic EMT to a Paramedic, eventually becoming a Registered Nurse and even instructing at the United Training Center. It was at this funeral that I truly understood the weight of our profession’s losses.

    What struck me the most that day was hearing Sawyer’s son speak about his father. He described an incredible man who inspired so many, not just through his work, but through the love and care he showed to his family and colleagues. This was a man who had a profound impact on so many lives, yet his internal struggles were hidden from view. Sawyer’s death affected the entire EMS community, and the ripples of that action could be felt far and wide.

    That funeral was not just a ceremony for remembering a fallen colleague; it was a wake-up call for all of us. It made me realize how important it is to honor our fallen brothers and sisters, and how crucial it is to address the mental health struggles that so many in our community face.

    Joining the Maine EMS Honor Guard

    The gravity of Sawyer’s funeral inspired me to join the Maine EMS Honor Guard. It was my way of showing respect and solidarity with those who had given their lives in service to others. The first funeral I attended as a member of the Honor Guard was that of Scott Latulippe, a paramedic who, like Sawyer, took his own life after a long battle with his mental health. Scott’s death, and the fact that he had reached out for help through the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) but could not find the support he needed, deeply saddened me.

    Scott’s wife, Julie Latulippe, has become an advocate for mental health within the first responder community. She has led the charge in the state of Maine to create “Clubhouse” meetings, where first responders can gather to discuss their experiences and the gaps in mental health support services. Julie’s work is a shining example of how we can turn our grief into action and fight for the changes that need to be made in our industry.

    Processing Grief in the First Responder Community

    Grief can affect us in different ways. Some may find purpose in loss, using it as a catalyst to fight for causes that matter, such as better mental health resources for first responders. Others may turn to their colleagues, community, or faith for comfort and support. But there are those of us who struggle with depression, despair, and a sense of hopelessness, especially when proper outlets for grief are not readily available.

    It is critical that we break the stigma surrounding mental health within our profession. We must create an environment where it’s okay to talk about trauma, mental health, and our struggles without fear of judgment. This begins by supporting each other, being there for our colleagues, and acknowledging that grief, though difficult, is part of our healing process.

    The Stages of Grief and How to Work Through Them

    Grief is a deeply personal experience, but there are common stages that many of us will go through when processing the loss of a colleague. Understanding these stages can help us recognize where we are in our own grief process and provide methods for coping with each stage.

    1. Denial
      It’s hard to believe that someone we worked alongside is truly gone.
      Coping Mechanism: Acknowledge the feelings of disbelief and talk to someone who understands your profession. Writing down your emotions or even attending a memorial service can help you process the reality of the loss.
    2. Anger
      We may feel angry at the circumstances, at the person for leaving us, or even at ourselves for not seeing the signs.
      Coping Mechanism: Channel your anger into something constructive, such as advocating for mental health awareness, or find a physical outlet like exercise or journaling to express your feelings.
    3. Bargaining
      We might ask ourselves if there was anything we could have done to prevent the loss.
      Coping Mechanism: Accept that you did your best. Seek out peer support or professional counseling to process the “what-ifs” and let go of guilt.
    4. Depression
      The reality of the loss hits us hard, and we may feel sadness or despair.
      Coping Mechanism: It’s important to not isolate yourself. Reach out to trusted colleagues or friends who understand the unique nature of your grief. Seeking professional counseling can also provide a safe space to work through depression.
    5. Acceptance
      Eventually, we come to terms with the loss and find a way to continue living our lives, honoring the memory of our colleagues.
      Coping Mechanism: Focus on ways you can honor their legacy, whether it’s through volunteering, advocacy, or simply remembering the impact they had on others.

    Helpful Resources for First Responders

    For those of us who are struggling to cope with grief, there are books that can help guide us through the process. Here are a few recommendations:

    1. “The First Responder’s Guide to Coping with Death” by Jeff Mitchell
    2. “Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life” by Eric Greitens
    3. “The Healing Power of Grief: A Guide for First Responders” by Robert J. Wicks

    Conclusion: Finding Strength in Grief

    The loss of a colleague is never easy, but it is through our collective grief that we can find strength. By honoring our fallen brothers and sisters, supporting each other, and breaking the stigma around mental health, we can ensure that their legacy lives on. It is crucial that we continue to have conversations about mental health, seek support when needed, and be there for our colleagues in their time of need.

    Remember, we are not alone in this journey. As first responders, we are a community, and together, we will heal. Let us continue to honor those we have lost and work towards a future where no one has to suffer in silence.

    In the end, our strength is found in each other. Together, we rise.

    For more information on the statewide “Clubhouse” meetings, or to join the email list, go to the Contact Me page, and get in touch.

  • Wellness Apps for Healthcare Professionals and First Responders: Managing Tasks, Mental Health, Mindfulness, and Fitness

    Wellness Apps for Healthcare Professionals and First Responders: Managing Tasks, Mental Health, Mindfulness, and Fitness

    As a healthcare professional or first responder, your work can be incredibly rewarding but also mentally and physically demanding. Balancing the intense nature of the job with self-care is crucial to maintaining your overall well-being. Fortunately, there are a number of wellness apps that can help you manage daily tasks, reduce stress, improve your mental health, and stay fit. Here are some helpful apps designed with your needs in mind:

    1. Headspace – Mindfulness and Meditation

    Description:
    Headspace is a popular mindfulness and meditation app that helps users reduce stress and anxiety, improve focus, and enhance overall mental well-being. With guided meditation sessions ranging from a few minutes to longer practices, this app is perfect for decompressing after a high-pressure shift or starting your day with a calm mindset.

    How It Can Be Used:
    Headspace offers specific programs for stress, sleep, focus, and even “Quick Stress Relief” sessions for those moments when you need a break during your shift. The app also includes mindfulness tools like breathing exercises and body scans to help you relax and reset.

    Pricing:

    • Free with limited features
    • Subscription plans start at $12.99/month or $69.99/year

    2. MyFitnessPal – Fitness and Nutrition Tracking

    Description:
    MyFitnessPal is a fitness and nutrition tracking app that helps you track calories, exercise, and set fitness goals. It’s especially useful for healthcare professionals and first responders who are on the go but want to maintain a healthy lifestyle despite irregular schedules.

    How It Can Be Used:
    MyFitnessPal allows you to log meals, workouts, and even water intake, helping you stay on track with nutrition and fitness goals. You can set personalized fitness goals and get insights into your progress over time, helping you stay motivated even on the busiest days.

    Pricing:

    • Free with limited features
    • Premium subscription starts at $19.99/month or $79.99/year

    3. RescueTime – Task Management and Focus

    Description:
    RescueTime is a time management app that helps you track and manage your daily tasks. It works by tracking how much time you spend on various apps and websites, giving you insights into your productivity. This is helpful for first responders who often have to juggle multiple tasks at once.

    How It Can Be Used:
    You can set goals for how much time you’d like to spend on certain activities, like administrative tasks or self-care. RescueTime will notify you if you’re spending too much time on distractions, helping you stay focused and organized throughout your workday or personal time.

    Pricing:

    • Free with basic features
    • Premium subscription costs $12/month or $78/year

    4. Calm – Sleep, Meditation, and Relaxation

    Description:
    Calm is a meditation and relaxation app designed to reduce stress, improve sleep, and help users manage anxiety. It offers a wide range of soothing sounds, breathing exercises, and sleep stories, all of which are perfect for first responders who need to unwind after a tough shift.

    How It Can Be Used:
    Use Calm to help you fall asleep with sleep stories or wind down after a hectic day with guided breathing or meditation exercises. The app also features calming music and nature sounds, making it a great tool for creating a peaceful environment at home or on the go.

    Pricing:

    • Free with limited content
    • Premium subscription starts at $14.99/month or $69.99/year

    5. Trello – Task and Project Management

    Description:
    Trello is a highly flexible task management app that’s ideal for organizing both personal and professional tasks. It allows you to create boards for different projects, break them down into tasks, and track your progress. For first responders juggling multiple responsibilities, Trello is a useful tool for managing shifts, appointments, and other duties.

    How It Can Be Used:
    Trello allows you to organize your daily responsibilities, set deadlines, and prioritize tasks. You can also collaborate with others by sharing boards, which is especially useful if you work in a team or need to track ongoing projects. Its simple, visual interface makes it easy to use during breaks or on the go.

    Pricing:

    • Free with core features
    • Premium subscription starts at $5/month per user

    6. Breethe – Meditation and Breathing for Stress Relief

    Description:
    Breethe is an app focused on mindfulness, meditation, and stress relief. It’s designed to help you clear your mind and find calm, with guided meditations, sleep stories, breathing exercises, and even specific content for managing stress and burnout.

    How It Can Be Used:
    Breethe offers personalized meditation sessions for beginners to experienced practitioners. It also has short breathing exercises you can do on the go, which is helpful during high-stress situations. The app’s stress management tools can be particularly beneficial for healthcare professionals and first responders looking to stay grounded.

    Pricing:

    • Free with limited features
    • Premium subscription costs $12.99/month or $49.99/year

    7. Sleep Cycle – Sleep Monitoring and Optimization

    Description:
    Sleep Cycle is an intelligent alarm clock and sleep tracking app that analyzes your sleep patterns and wakes you up at the optimal time to feel rested and energized. For first responders, getting quality sleep can be challenging, and Sleep Cycle can help you optimize your rest.

    How It Can Be Used:
    The app tracks your sleep cycles through your phone’s microphone and provides insights into your sleep quality. You can set a “wake-up window,” and Sleep Cycle will gently wake you up when you’re in the lightest phase of sleep, ensuring you feel refreshed even after a restless night.

    Pricing:

    • Free with basic features
    • Premium subscription starts at $29.99/year

    Final Thoughts

    Incorporating wellness apps into your daily routine can help you manage the pressures of working in healthcare or as a first responder. Whether you’re looking to improve mental health, stay fit, or better manage your tasks, these apps provide valuable tools to enhance your well-being. Taking time for yourself isn’t just good for you—it’s essential for maintaining the high level of care and service you provide to others. Start using these apps today and take the first step towards a healthier, more balanced life.

    What apps do you use to maintain your mental health and wellness? Let us know in the comments!

  • Support Systems: How My Recovery and Careers Intersect with Community and Mentorship

    Support Systems: How My Recovery and Careers Intersect with Community and Mentorship

    As I reflect on my journey through recovery and my career as a first responder and healthcare professional, one common thread runs throughout: the importance of a solid support system. My success in both arenas—recovery and my professional life—has been shaped, nurtured, and uplifted by the mentors and community that surround me. From recovery groups to colleagues, friends, and mentors, these relationships have been key to my growth and healing, as well as to my ability to excel in a high-pressure environment where mental health often takes a backseat.

    The Role of Mentorship in Recovery and Career

    Recovery is not a journey taken alone, and neither is a career in first response or healthcare. I have been fortunate to have a group of individuals who have guided me through the rough patches, supported me through the trials, and celebrated my victories—no matter how small they might have seemed.

    One of my most influential mentors is Ron Morin, often referred to as “The Grandfather of EMS in Maine.” Ron has not only shared his invaluable knowledge and experience but has also offered personal guidance, helping me navigate the complexities of the EMS world and the challenges that come with it. His mentorship has extended beyond the technical and professional, touching on the personal aspects of resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity.

    Equally important is my counselor, the clinical director at Recovery Connections of Maine. He has been a constant source of support as I work through the emotional aspects of recovery. His ability to provide a safe, non-judgmental space for me to process my experiences has been crucial in helping me stay grounded and focused on my healing. This safe space has allowed me to dig deeper into the roots of my struggles and has provided me with the tools to continue moving forward.

    I also owe a great deal to my life coach, Jenny Sheriff, who wears many hats as a charge nurse in the Emergency Department and a former paramedic. Jenny has been instrumental in helping me find balance and clarity in my work and personal life. Her perspective, both as a healthcare professional and a person with her own wellness journey, has provided invaluable insight into managing stress, expectations, and self-care. She reminds me of the importance of staying centered amidst the chaos, something that is often difficult to do in our line of work.

    On a more personal level, I am blessed to have a close-knit circle of friends and colleagues who have become my emotional support system. My best friend Sadie, who is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner practicing in the state of Maine, has been more like a sister to me through all of my ups and downs. She has patiently stood by me through trials and tribulations, and provides her keen insight on medication management and the mental health system as a whole. Barbara, a colleague and close friend, is always there to lift me up, especially during tough times. Our shared faith and the prayerful moments we’ve spent together have been a deep source of comfort and strength. And then there’s Graham—my partner. His unwavering love and encouragement are a constant motivator, pushing me to strive for my fullest potential, both in recovery and in my career, and to love myself every step of the way.

    I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the most significant influence in my life: my Mother. Her resilience in the face of adversity set the tone for everything I would come to face. It is from her that I inherited my stubborn optimism and my unwillingness to give up, even in times of struggle. Watching her handle life’s challenges with grace and strength shaped my own outlook on overcoming hardship. She taught me that no matter how hard the road gets, there is always a way forward. Her example continues to guide me in my recovery and in my professional life, reminding me that resilience is something we can all cultivate, no matter the circumstances.

    Building Your Own Support System: Advice for Others

    If there is one thing I have learned along the way, it’s that a strong support system is non-negotiable. If you are in recovery, a first responder, or healthcare worker, or if you are navigating any of life’s challenges, seeking out mentors and building a support network is essential.

    Start by identifying the people who inspire you—those who show up, not just in your moments of success but also in your moments of struggle. Look for individuals who challenge you to grow, who hold you accountable, and who lift you up when you feel like giving up. It’s okay to be vulnerable and open with those who have walked a similar path, as their experiences and guidance can make all the difference.

    In my own journey, the recovery community has played a crucial role. Attending recovery meetings, participating in group therapy, and being part of peer support networks have all given me the opportunity to connect with others who understand the struggle. These meetings have provided a space to share, listen, and learn from others, reinforcing the idea that I am never alone in my experiences. Having access to individual therapy and psychiatry has been just as vital. My psychiatrist, for example, creates a collaborative environment where I can discuss my medications and lifestyle changes in detail, always ensuring that my mental health is prioritized and that we are working together to find the best solutions for my well-being.

    The Power of Community

    In addition to my mentors, I am deeply inspired by the many individuals I work with in both the recovery and healthcare fields. I am constantly motivated by my colleagues in the Emergency Department—doctors, nurses, EMTs, and paramedics—who set incredibly high standards for themselves and for their patient care. Their dedication, work ethic, and commitment to excellence challenges me to raise the bar in my own work and recovery.

    Similarly, I find inspiration in the recovery community. So many individuals extend themselves beyond what might seem realistic—juggling service to others, family responsibilities, and their own recovery journeys with grace and commitment. This willingness to put in the work, even when it’s difficult, reinforces the importance of community and accountability in maintaining long-term recovery.

    Conclusion: The Intersection of Recovery and Career

    When I think about the intersection of my recovery and my career, I realize that both have grown and flourished because of the support systems I’ve surrounded myself with. It is these people—my mentors, colleagues, friends, family, and especially my mother—who have shown me that success in recovery and career is not about doing it alone. It’s about building a community, seeking guidance when needed, and being willing to lean on others when the road gets tough.

    For me, finding faith in a Higher Power has also been instrumental to maintaining my recovery. In times of struggle, when the pressure feels overwhelming, it is my faith that strengthens me and gives me the courage to keep moving forward. The quiet moments I spend in prayer after a particularly hard day help me process the emotional weight of my work and personal experiences. Without this faith, I would not be able to deal with the difficult realities of my job, especially in handling the deceased in my role at the hospital. It is through this faith that I find the strength to do this deeply emotional work, knowing that I am not alone.

    For anyone who is on a similar journey—whether in recovery or in their professional life—know that mentorship, community, and faith are key. Seek out those who inspire you, who challenge you, and who offer support. You don’t have to do it alone.