Mind Over Mayday

Tag: mentorship

  • Mentorship in EMS: Lessons from My Relationship with Ron Morin

    Mentorship in EMS: Lessons from My Relationship with Ron Morin

    Mentorship is a cornerstone of growth in any field, but in Emergency Medical Services (EMS), where the stakes are high and the learning curve is steep, it can be transformative. For me, mentorship came in the form of Ron Morin—a pioneer in Maine EMS whose career spanned over four decades, starting with the state’s very first paramedic program. His passion for the field didn’t stop with patient care; it extended to ambulance design, regional sales, education, and advocacy. But our story didn’t begin in the thick of his career. It started after Ron and his wife Becky, a paramedic and nurse practitioner, had retired—a time when I was just starting my journey as an EMT.

    At the time, I was still figuring out my path in healthcare and emergency medicine. Meeting Ron and Becky couldn’t have come at a better time. Their thoughtful guidance, experience, and unwavering encouragement became a steadying force in my life. As our relationship grew, so did the depth of their impact on me. Today, I’m proud to call them my chosen grandparents—a title they’ve earned through years of offering love, support, and wisdom.

    A New Chapter: Touring and Writing with Ron

    One of the most rewarding aspects of my mentorship with Ron has been our work together on the Squad 51 History and Education Project, his nonprofit educational initiative. Touring the Northeast with Ron, we’ve worked to inspire new generations of EMS professionals and connect with seasoned veterans who grew up watching the iconic show Emergency! These trips have been more than just professional opportunities—they’ve been lessons in history, community, and the evolution of EMS.

    In 2023, our collaboration deepened when I began working on Ron’s autobiography. As I transcribed his stories, I gained insight into the origins of 911 services in rural Maine, the challenges faced by early paramedics, and the profound dedication it takes to build a system that saves lives. Beyond his professional journey, I’ve learned about the enduring love and partnership he shares with Becky, the resilience they’ve shown through life’s challenges, and their tireless commitment to the EMS community.

    What Ron Taught Me About Mentorship

    Ron’s mentorship has been a masterclass in patience, perspective, and humility. He’s taught me that no matter how advanced our tools or protocols become, EMS is ultimately about people—about their stories, struggles, and triumphs. His advice has helped me become not just a better EMT, but a more compassionate and grounded healthcare provider.

    One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is the importance of listening—really listening. Whether it’s a patient in crisis, a colleague in need of support, or the wisdom of someone who’s been in the field for decades, listening creates the space for growth and connection.

    It’s also because of Ron and Becky’s encouragement that I found the courage to start this blog, Mind Over Mayday. Sharing my story and advocating for first responder mental health wouldn’t have been possible without their belief in me.

    Why You Should Seek a Mentor in EMS

    Mentorship in EMS isn’t just about passing down technical knowledge; it’s about building relationships that challenge, support, and inspire. Here are a few reasons why finding a mentor could change your career—and your life:

    1. Perspective: Mentors like Ron bring a wealth of experience that helps put the challenges of the job into context. Their stories remind us why we chose this field in the first place.

    2. Guidance: A mentor can help you navigate career decisions, refine your skills, and avoid common pitfalls.

    3. Support: The demands of EMS can be overwhelming, but having someone who understands the unique stressors of the job can make all the difference.

    4. Connection to the Past: Learning from those who’ve shaped the field connects us to its history and inspires us to contribute to its future.

    Honoring the “Dinosaurs” of EMS

    Too often, the wisdom of EMS veterans is overlooked in a field that’s constantly evolving. But the so-called “dinosaurs” of EMS have a depth of knowledge and perspective that no textbook or protocol manual can provide. Their stories are a reminder of how far we’ve come—and how much we still have to learn.

    For me, Ron and Becky have been that bridge between the past and the future, showing me what it means to dedicate your life to a calling. Their mentorship has shaped my career and my perspective, and I’ll forever be grateful for the lessons they’ve taught me.

    So, if you’re new to EMS—or even if you’re not—find a mentor. Seek out someone who inspires you, challenges you, and helps you grow. And when the time comes, pass that knowledge along. Because mentorship isn’t just about becoming better at what you do; it’s about ensuring the next generation is even stronger.

    To Ron and Becky—thank you for everything. Your impact on my life and my career is immeasurable, and I hope to honor it by continuing to learn, grow, and give back.

  • Breaking Barriers: Women in the Fire Service

    Breaking Barriers: Women in the Fire Service

    The fire service has long been regarded as a male-dominated field, steeped in tradition and camaraderie. While these aspects make it unique, they also present challenges for women entering the profession. Women comprise only about 8% of firefighters in the United States, according to the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA). Yet, despite the barriers, women bring invaluable strengths to the table—both physical and mental—that enhance the fire service and benefit the communities we serve.

    Overcoming Challenges and Breaking Stereotypes

    Entering a male-dominated field often means working harder to prove your worth. Many women feel the pressure to perform at a higher standard, as they are often scrutinized more harshly than their male counterparts. This can lead to self-doubt, but it also fosters a determination to succeed. Personally, I’ve experienced this dynamic firsthand. When I joined the fire service, I faced criticism and hostility from some officers in one of my departments. These individuals frequently engaged in lewd conversations, scrutinized my work unfairly, and set me up to fail by assigning tasks without proper training or guidance. It was a difficult and toxic environment to navigate.

    However, not every department operates this way. I was fortunate to also serve in other departments where my skills and contributions were valued. These experiences taught me the importance of fostering welcoming environments where teamwork and mutual respect prevail. Ultimately, I chose to leave the toxic department and focus my efforts on places where I was encouraged to grow and thrive as a firefighter.

    The Strengths Women Bring to the Fire Service

    Women often excel in the fire service by leveraging unique strengths that complement the team dynamic. For example, being smaller in size can be an advantage in confined spaces during search-and-rescue operations. Additionally, women tend to excel in communication, empathy, and collaboration, which are essential traits in high-stress, team-oriented environments. The fire service thrives on true teamwork—everyone bringing their strengths to the table to accomplish a shared mission.

    Studies also suggest that diverse teams perform better in high-pressure situations. A 2020 report from McKinsey & Company found that diverse workplaces are 35% more likely to outperform their peers. In the fire service, this translates to better problem-solving, more innovative solutions, and ultimately, improved outcomes for the communities we serve.

    Inspired by Women Who Paved the Way

    My Aunt, a career firefighter/paramedic, was one of my earliest role models. Her dedication, resilience, and professionalism inspired me to pursue a career in the fire service and to be the best version of myself. Watching her navigate the challenges of the job while maintaining her integrity and compassion gave me a roadmap for success.

    Her example also taught me the value of mentorship and support. It is critical for women entering male-dominated fields to seek out allies and role models who can provide guidance, encouragement, and wisdom. The fire service, like any other profession, is only as strong as the people within it. By lifting each other up, we ensure the safety and success of the entire team.

    Moving Forward: Creating a More Inclusive Fire Service

    While progress has been made, there is still work to do to create a more inclusive fire service. Departments must prioritize fostering respectful, welcoming environments where all firefighters—regardless of gender—can thrive. Leadership plays a crucial role in setting the tone and addressing toxic behaviors. When women feel supported, they can contribute to their full potential, enhancing the effectiveness of the entire team.

    For those entering the fire service, my advice is to stay true to yourself, seek out departments and leaders who value your contributions, and never stop advocating for better mental health and workplace culture. The fire service is built on trust, respect, and teamwork—qualities that transcend gender and unite us in our shared mission to serve and protect.

    As women in the fire service, we may face unique challenges, but we also have unique strengths. By breaking barriers and shattering stereotypes, we pave the way for the next generation of women firefighters, creating a stronger, more inclusive fire service for all.

  • How to Use Trauma-Informed Dialogue to Support Someone Who’s Struggling

    How to Use Trauma-Informed Dialogue to Support Someone Who’s Struggling

    When someone you care about—whether a friend, family member, colleague, or fellow first responder—is struggling, your words and approach can make a huge difference. Trauma-informed dialogue focuses on creating a safe, nonjudgmental space where they feel heard, supported, and understood. Here’s how to implement this compassionate approach:

    1. Prioritize Safety and Trust

    • Start with empathy: Begin by acknowledging their struggle without judgment or assumptions. For example:

    “I’ve noticed you seem a bit off lately, and I wanted to check in. How are you doing?”

    • Be consistent and reliable: Show up when you say you will, listen without interruption, and maintain confidentiality to build trust.

    2. Use Nonjudgmental Language

    • Avoid blame or shaming statements like, “You’re overreacting” or “Why can’t you just let it go?”

    • Instead, try: “That sounds really difficult. I can understand why you’d feel that way.”

    • Remember, trauma responses aren’t about being “weak” but are the brain’s way of coping with overwhelming stress.

    3. Practice Active Listening

    • Give them space to speak: Sometimes, they need to process their thoughts out loud. Avoid jumping in with advice right away.

    • Reflect what you hear to show understanding:

    “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start. That makes a lot of sense.”

    4. Avoid Triggers

    • Trauma can make certain words, tones, or topics feel threatening. Pay attention to their body language and emotional cues.

    • If they seem agitated or withdrawn, adjust your approach. Use calm, reassuring tones and focus on the present moment.

    5. Focus on Empowerment, Not Fixing

    • Instead of saying, “You should…” or “Here’s what you need to do…”, try asking:

    “What do you think would help right now?”

    • Validate their strengths: “I know this is hard, but I’m amazed by how strong you’ve been through everything.”

    6. Know When to Step Back and Offer Resources

    • If their struggles are beyond what you can handle, gently suggest professional support:

    “I’m here for you, but I wonder if talking to someone like a counselor or therapist might help. I can help you find someone if you’d like.”

    • Offer resources without pressure, such as crisis lines, peer support groups, or wellness programs.

    7. Follow Up

    • Support isn’t a one-time conversation. Check in periodically:

    “I’ve been thinking about you. How have things been going?”

    • Even small, consistent actions—like sending a thoughtful text—show that you care.

    Why It Matters for First Responders

    First responders often face unique challenges, including cumulative stress and exposure to traumatic events. Trauma-informed dialogue acknowledges these pressures without minimizing them. It’s about saying, “I see you, I hear you, and I’m here for you,” in a way that respects their experience and humanity.

    By using trauma-informed dialogue, you’re not just helping someone feel supported—you’re creating a foundation for trust, healing, and resilience. Together, we can break down the stigma around seeking help and foster a culture of compassion and understanding.

    You’re never alone in this journey. Let’s make sure no one else feels they are, either.

    Still feeling lost? Here is a sample conversation that puts trauma informed dialogue into practice…

    Scenario: Two EMTs, Chris and Taylor, are chatting after a shift. Chris has noticed Taylor has been quieter than usual and seems stressed.

    Opening the Conversation

    Chris:

    “Hey Taylor, you’ve seemed a bit off the last few shifts. Everything okay?”

    Taylor:

    “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”

    Chris:

    “I get that—this job takes it out of you. But I don’t know, it seems like more than just being tired. I’m here if you want to talk.”

    Acknowledging and Validating

    Taylor:

    “I don’t know, man. It’s just been a lot lately. That call last week with the kid… I can’t stop thinking about it.”

    Chris:

    “Yeah, that was a tough one. Those kinds of calls stick with you. It’s completely normal to feel like this.”

    Taylor:

    “I keep wondering if we missed something, you know? Like, what if there was something more we could have done?”

    Chris:

    “That’s a heavy weight to carry. I’ve felt like that before too—second-guessing everything. But from what I saw, you did everything you could. That kid had the best chance because of you.”

    Using Active Listening

    Taylor:

    “I know you’re probably right, but it just doesn’t feel that way. And then every time I try to sleep, it’s like I’m back on that call.”

    Chris:

    “That sounds rough. Not being able to shake it and having it mess with your sleep—it’s no wonder you’re feeling drained. It makes sense that this would be sticking with you.”

    Taylor:

    “Yeah. And I can’t really talk about it at home. It doesn’t feel right to bring that stuff home, to talk about something like that with my wife who doesn’t need that image in her head too.”

    Chris:

    “That’s tough, I know the feeling. But you can always talk to me. You don’t have to carry this alone.”

    Focusing on Empowerment

    Chris:

    “Have you thought about what might help you feel a little better? Sometimes talking to someone outside of work, like a counselor, can help sort through all of this.”

    Taylor:

    “I don’t know. I’ve never done that before. Feels kind of… weak, you know?”

    Chris:

    “Trust me, I’ve been there. I thought the same thing, but talking to someone helped me work through stuff I didn’t even know was weighing me down. It’s not about being weak—it’s about taking care of yourself so you can keep doing this job.”

    Offering Support

    Chris:

    “If you want, I can help you find someone to talk to. I know a few resources that specialize in first responders. No pressure, just an option.”

    Taylor:

    “Yeah, maybe. I’ll think about it.”

    Chris:

    “That’s all I ask. In the meantime, let me know if you want to grab coffee or vent about anything. There’s also a support group I go to sometimes, once a month, if you’d ever want to go with me. No matter what, I’ve got your back.”

    Taylor:

    “Thanks, Chris. I appreciate it. It would be nice to grab coffee outside of work sometime, and let me know when that group is. I’ll give anything a try at this point.”

    This example highlights trauma-informed dialogue by creating a safe space, validating feelings, avoiding judgment, and empowering the struggling colleague to consider next steps. It’s a realistic approach to starting meaningful conversations about mental health in the workplace.

    If you’re unsure of how to start a conversation with someone who is struggling, reach out to mindovermayday@gmail.com and you will receive personalized advice compiled by myself and my own mentors. Note: we are not licensed therapists or counselors, just fellow first responders on a mission to help other first responders in crisis.

  • Support Systems: How My Recovery and Careers Intersect with Community and Mentorship

    Support Systems: How My Recovery and Careers Intersect with Community and Mentorship

    As I reflect on my journey through recovery and my career as a first responder and healthcare professional, one common thread runs throughout: the importance of a solid support system. My success in both arenas—recovery and my professional life—has been shaped, nurtured, and uplifted by the mentors and community that surround me. From recovery groups to colleagues, friends, and mentors, these relationships have been key to my growth and healing, as well as to my ability to excel in a high-pressure environment where mental health often takes a backseat.

    The Role of Mentorship in Recovery and Career

    Recovery is not a journey taken alone, and neither is a career in first response or healthcare. I have been fortunate to have a group of individuals who have guided me through the rough patches, supported me through the trials, and celebrated my victories—no matter how small they might have seemed.

    One of my most influential mentors is Ron Morin, often referred to as “The Grandfather of EMS in Maine.” Ron has not only shared his invaluable knowledge and experience but has also offered personal guidance, helping me navigate the complexities of the EMS world and the challenges that come with it. His mentorship has extended beyond the technical and professional, touching on the personal aspects of resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity.

    Equally important is my counselor, the clinical director at Recovery Connections of Maine. He has been a constant source of support as I work through the emotional aspects of recovery. His ability to provide a safe, non-judgmental space for me to process my experiences has been crucial in helping me stay grounded and focused on my healing. This safe space has allowed me to dig deeper into the roots of my struggles and has provided me with the tools to continue moving forward.

    I also owe a great deal to my life coach, Jenny Sheriff, who wears many hats as a charge nurse in the Emergency Department and a former paramedic. Jenny has been instrumental in helping me find balance and clarity in my work and personal life. Her perspective, both as a healthcare professional and a person with her own wellness journey, has provided invaluable insight into managing stress, expectations, and self-care. She reminds me of the importance of staying centered amidst the chaos, something that is often difficult to do in our line of work.

    On a more personal level, I am blessed to have a close-knit circle of friends and colleagues who have become my emotional support system. My best friend Sadie, who is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner practicing in the state of Maine, has been more like a sister to me through all of my ups and downs. She has patiently stood by me through trials and tribulations, and provides her keen insight on medication management and the mental health system as a whole. Barbara, a colleague and close friend, is always there to lift me up, especially during tough times. Our shared faith and the prayerful moments we’ve spent together have been a deep source of comfort and strength. And then there’s Graham—my partner. His unwavering love and encouragement are a constant motivator, pushing me to strive for my fullest potential, both in recovery and in my career, and to love myself every step of the way.

    I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the most significant influence in my life: my Mother. Her resilience in the face of adversity set the tone for everything I would come to face. It is from her that I inherited my stubborn optimism and my unwillingness to give up, even in times of struggle. Watching her handle life’s challenges with grace and strength shaped my own outlook on overcoming hardship. She taught me that no matter how hard the road gets, there is always a way forward. Her example continues to guide me in my recovery and in my professional life, reminding me that resilience is something we can all cultivate, no matter the circumstances.

    Building Your Own Support System: Advice for Others

    If there is one thing I have learned along the way, it’s that a strong support system is non-negotiable. If you are in recovery, a first responder, or healthcare worker, or if you are navigating any of life’s challenges, seeking out mentors and building a support network is essential.

    Start by identifying the people who inspire you—those who show up, not just in your moments of success but also in your moments of struggle. Look for individuals who challenge you to grow, who hold you accountable, and who lift you up when you feel like giving up. It’s okay to be vulnerable and open with those who have walked a similar path, as their experiences and guidance can make all the difference.

    In my own journey, the recovery community has played a crucial role. Attending recovery meetings, participating in group therapy, and being part of peer support networks have all given me the opportunity to connect with others who understand the struggle. These meetings have provided a space to share, listen, and learn from others, reinforcing the idea that I am never alone in my experiences. Having access to individual therapy and psychiatry has been just as vital. My psychiatrist, for example, creates a collaborative environment where I can discuss my medications and lifestyle changes in detail, always ensuring that my mental health is prioritized and that we are working together to find the best solutions for my well-being.

    The Power of Community

    In addition to my mentors, I am deeply inspired by the many individuals I work with in both the recovery and healthcare fields. I am constantly motivated by my colleagues in the Emergency Department—doctors, nurses, EMTs, and paramedics—who set incredibly high standards for themselves and for their patient care. Their dedication, work ethic, and commitment to excellence challenges me to raise the bar in my own work and recovery.

    Similarly, I find inspiration in the recovery community. So many individuals extend themselves beyond what might seem realistic—juggling service to others, family responsibilities, and their own recovery journeys with grace and commitment. This willingness to put in the work, even when it’s difficult, reinforces the importance of community and accountability in maintaining long-term recovery.

    Conclusion: The Intersection of Recovery and Career

    When I think about the intersection of my recovery and my career, I realize that both have grown and flourished because of the support systems I’ve surrounded myself with. It is these people—my mentors, colleagues, friends, family, and especially my mother—who have shown me that success in recovery and career is not about doing it alone. It’s about building a community, seeking guidance when needed, and being willing to lean on others when the road gets tough.

    For me, finding faith in a Higher Power has also been instrumental to maintaining my recovery. In times of struggle, when the pressure feels overwhelming, it is my faith that strengthens me and gives me the courage to keep moving forward. The quiet moments I spend in prayer after a particularly hard day help me process the emotional weight of my work and personal experiences. Without this faith, I would not be able to deal with the difficult realities of my job, especially in handling the deceased in my role at the hospital. It is through this faith that I find the strength to do this deeply emotional work, knowing that I am not alone.

    For anyone who is on a similar journey—whether in recovery or in their professional life—know that mentorship, community, and faith are key. Seek out those who inspire you, who challenge you, and who offer support. You don’t have to do it alone.