Tag: recovery

  • New Year, New You: Strategies for Overcoming Trauma, Reducing Stress, and Cultivating Mental Resilience in 2025

    New Year, New You: Strategies for Overcoming Trauma, Reducing Stress, and Cultivating Mental Resilience in 2025


    Introduction:

    The new year holds the promise of fresh beginnings and renewed hope, but for many of us, it can also feel like a daunting reminder of the unresolved struggles we carry. As first responders and individuals in high-stress roles, the toll of trauma and stress doesn’t reset with the calendar. However, the start of a new year offers a unique opportunity to recommit to ourselves—to our healing, our growth, and our resilience.

    Mental resilience isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about learning how to carry it more lightly. It’s about equipping ourselves with tools and strategies to face the challenges ahead, not from a place of depletion, but from one of strength and renewal. Let this year be the one where you take actionable steps toward mental well-being. Here are some ideas to help you get started.


    1. Embrace the Power of Acknowledgment

    Before we can heal, we need to name what’s weighing us down. Trauma and stress often linger because they’re left unspoken or unattended. Reflecting on your experiences—whether through journaling, therapy, or open conversations—is a powerful act of acknowledgment. It’s a way of telling yourself that your experiences matter, that your feelings are valid, and that you deserve to heal.

    While acknowledging pain is not easy, it is a critical first step. Remember, healing isn’t about erasing the hurt; it’s about transforming your relationship with it. Start small by identifying moments in your life that feel unresolved and sit with them gently. Allow yourself to feel, process, and, when ready, move forward.


    2. Prioritize Rest and Recovery

    One of the most overlooked aspects of mental resilience is the importance of rest. For first responders, who are often running on adrenaline and caffeine, rest can feel like a luxury. But rest is a necessity, not an indulgence. It’s in these moments of stillness that our bodies and minds repair and restore.

    Consider your sleep hygiene. Are you giving yourself enough time to unwind after your shifts? Are you creating an environment conducive to restful sleep? Simple changes—like dimming the lights, avoiding screens before bed, or developing a consistent bedtime routine—can make a world of difference. And remember, recovery isn’t just about sleep; it’s about finding moments of peace throughout your day, whether through a five-minute meditation, a walk in nature, or quiet time with a loved one.


    3. Learn to Regulate Stress

    Stress is an inevitable part of life, but how we respond to it can change everything. Developing healthy ways to manage stress is a cornerstone of mental resilience. Start by recognizing your stressors. What situations or thoughts trigger feelings of overwhelm? Once identified, you can begin to address them with intentional practices.

    One effective way to regulate stress is through breathwork. When stress strikes, try the 4-7-8 breathing technique: inhale for four seconds, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. This simple exercise can help lower your heart rate and bring you back to the present moment.

    Other strategies include exercise, creative outlets like painting or writing, and even laughter. Yes, laughter is a form of stress relief! Don’t underestimate the power of humor to lighten your mental load.


    4. Set Intentions, Not Perfections

    New Year’s resolutions often come with an all-or-nothing mentality that can lead to burnout or guilt. Instead of setting rigid goals, focus on intentions that prioritize your mental health. For example, rather than resolving to “never feel stressed again” (an impossible standard), set the intention to “respond to stress in healthier ways.”

    Intentions allow for flexibility and growth, while perfectionism often sets us up for failure. Give yourself permission to try, fail, and try again. Resilience isn’t about avoiding setbacks; it’s about bouncing back from them with greater insight and determination.


    5. Foster Gratitude and Connection

    Resilience thrives in the soil of gratitude and connection. Take time each day to focus on what you’re grateful for, no matter how small. Gratitude shifts your perspective and reminds you of the good that exists alongside the challenges.

    Equally important is connection. Resilience is not a solo journey. Lean on your support system—friends, family, colleagues, or a trusted mentor. Vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, especially in professions where strength is often equated with stoicism. But true strength lies in knowing when to ask for help. Let this year be the one where you allow others to show up for you, just as you have shown up for them.


    6. Celebrate Small Wins

    Healing and growth are not linear processes. There will be days when you feel invincible and others when you feel like you’re back at square one. That’s okay. What matters is that you keep moving forward, even if the steps are small.

    Celebrate your progress, no matter how incremental it may seem. Did you take a moment to breathe deeply during a stressful call? Celebrate that. Did you reach out to a friend when you were feeling low? That’s a win. Each step you take is a testament to your strength and resilience.


    7. Utilize Resources Tailored to First Responders

    As first responders, we often feel the pressure to “tough it out” and carry on without addressing the mental toll of our work. But the truth is, we all need support sometimes—and it’s okay to reach out. This year, take advantage of resources specifically designed for people like us who face trauma and high-stress situations daily.

    One invaluable tool is the 24/7 Debrief Hotline and Peer Support offered by Mind the Frontline. This service provides immediate access to someone who understands what you’re going through. Whether you’ve just come off a difficult call, need to process something that’s been weighing on your mind, or simply want to talk to a peer who gets it, this hotline is there for you anytime, day or night.

    Taking that step to call or talk to someone isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. Let this be the year you embrace the help that’s available and prioritize your mental well-being.


    Challenging Negative Thoughts and Reprocessing Them

    Our minds can often be our toughest critics, especially when we’re dealing with trauma and stress. Negative thoughts can creep in and become so loud that they feel like the truth. These thoughts—whether self-critical, hopeless, or fear-driven—can keep us stuck, preventing us from fully healing. But the good news is that we can challenge and reprocess these thoughts, turning them into stepping stones for growth. The following practice has made a monumental difference in how I think about traumatic experiences, especially ones where I’ve questioned myself or my performance, and have held on to guilt or shame surrounding a negative outcome.

    Step 1: Recognize the Thought
    The first step to challenging negative thoughts is to become aware of them. Often, they run in the background like a looped recording. Pay attention to moments when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, or down, and identify the thought behind those feelings. For example, you might catch yourself thinking, “I’m not strong enough to handle this.”

    Step 2: Question Its Validity
    Once you’ve identified the thought, ask yourself if it’s really true. Negative thoughts are often rooted in fear rather than fact. Use questions like:

    • Is there evidence to support this thought?
    • What would I tell a friend who thought this way?
    • Am I jumping to conclusions or assuming the worst?

    Challenging the thought helps weaken its grip and allows you to see a more balanced perspective.

    Step 3: Reframe the Narrative
    After challenging the negative thought, reframe it into something more constructive and compassionate. This doesn’t mean ignoring the situation, but rather shifting the narrative to one that is kinder and more empowering.

    For example, instead of thinking, “I’m not strong enough,” try rephrasing it as, “I’ve faced difficult things before, and I’ve made it through. I am capable of doing hard things.”

    Step 4: Replace the Thought with Action
    Sometimes, the best way to combat a negative thought is to prove it wrong through action. If the thought is, “I’ll never make progress,” take a small step forward—something that counters the thought, like practicing a self-care routine or tackling a task you’ve been avoiding. Each action builds confidence and weakens the power of negative thinking.

    Step 5: Use Reprocessing Techniques
    For deeper work, consider techniques like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). These methods help you reprocess trauma and restructure the way your brain responds to distressing thoughts and memories. Working with a therapist trained in these approaches can help you make significant progress.

    Step 6: Practice Self-Compassion
    Remember, negative thoughts are often rooted in past experiences and learned behaviors. Reprocessing them takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate even the smallest victories. Self-compassion isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity for growth and healing.

    Remember
    Challenging negative thoughts is like retraining your brain to work for you rather than against you. It’s not about eliminating every negative thought, but learning to navigate them in a way that empowers you rather than holding you back. As you enter this new year, make a commitment to tune into your inner dialogue, challenge the negative narratives, and reframe them into something that aligns with your resilience and strength.

    You are more capable than your doubts may tell you—and you have the power to rewrite your story.

    Conclusion:

    This year, I challenge you to prioritize your mental health as fiercely as you prioritize the well-being of others. Trauma and stress may be part of our stories, but they don’t have to define us. With intentional steps, we can learn to carry our burdens more lightly and build the resilience needed to thrive.

    As you step into 2025, remember that resilience isn’t about being unbreakable. It’s about bending without breaking, healing without rushing, and growing without limits. Take the time to honor your journey, invest in your well-being, and embrace the strength that comes from choosing yourself—again and again.

    Together, we can create a stronger, more resilient community—one step, one day, and one call at a time.

  • Recovery in the Trenches: Navigating Sobriety in the Medical Field

    Recovery in the Trenches: Navigating Sobriety in the Medical Field

    When I stepped into the world of emergency medicine, I carried more than just a trauma bag and a drive to help others. I also carried my history—a story of survival, sobriety, and relentless hope. As a person in recovery, working in the medical field has been both a profound challenge and an incredible opportunity for connection.

    The Challenges of Recovery in the Medical Field

    Working in emergency medicine means constantly being surrounded by chaos, trauma, and moments that would shake anyone’s resolve. For someone in recovery, the stakes can feel even higher. We see patients at their worst—overdoses, withdrawal, and the physical toll of addiction. It’s impossible not to see pieces of my past in their eyes, and that can stir up emotions I thought I’d buried long ago.

    The medical field also has its own culture, one that doesn’t always prioritize mental health or sobriety. Stress is often managed with substances like alcohol, and “blowing off steam” after a tough shift can quickly spiral into unhealthy habits. For me, navigating this environment while staying true to my sobriety has required strong boundaries and an unwavering commitment to my recovery.

    Then there’s the stigma. While I openly share my story in spaces where it can help others, I know not everyone in the medical field understands what it means to be in recovery. Sometimes, I’ve felt like I had to prove that my past doesn’t define my present. But instead of being a limitation, my history has become a source of strength.

    Turning Challenges Into Opportunities

    One of the unexpected gifts of being in recovery is the ability to connect with patients on a deeply human level. When I encounter someone battling addiction or struggling through withdrawal, I don’t just see their chart or their diagnosis. I see their humanity. I see their potential.

    For example, when treating a patient who’s overdosed or in the grips of substance use, I don’t shy away from the conversation. If the moment feels right, I might say, “I’ve been where you are. It doesn’t have to end here.” Those words can be a lifeline, not just because they’re comforting, but because they come from someone who has walked the same path. I’ve seen patients’ eyes light up—not with shame, but with hope.

    These moments of connection are some of the most fulfilling parts of my job. They remind me that recovery is not just about staying sober; it’s about being of service. Every interaction is an opportunity to plant a seed, to remind someone that they’re not alone, and that change is possible.

    Self-Care as a Lifeline

    Recovery in the medical field has taught me the non-negotiable importance of self-care. Long shifts, emotional cases, and physical exhaustion can be dangerous for anyone, but for someone in recovery, they can be a slippery slope. I’ve learned to prioritize my mental and physical health—whether that’s through my morning and evening routines, regular therapy, or connecting with my support network.

    I’ve also found it essential to stay grounded in my “why.” Why did I get sober? Why did I choose this career? Reflecting on these questions keeps me aligned with my values, even on the hardest days.

    Breaking the Stigma

    If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that people in recovery bring unique strengths to the medical field. We know how to rebuild after hitting rock bottom, how to empathize without judgment, and how to find resilience in the face of hardship. Yet, stigma around addiction and recovery still exists, even in healthcare.

    By sharing my story, I hope to break down that stigma—not just for my patients, but for my colleagues. Recovery isn’t a weakness; it’s a testament to strength, perseverance, and the human capacity for change. The more openly we talk about it, the more we can create a culture where vulnerability is met with support instead of shame.

    A Life of Purpose

    Being a person in recovery working in the medical field is not without its struggles, but it’s also a life filled with purpose. Every shift, I have the chance to be a light in someone else’s darkness, to offer hope when it feels like all is lost. And in doing so, I keep my own recovery alive.

    For anyone else in recovery considering or working in healthcare, know this: Your past doesn’t disqualify you. It prepares you. The empathy, resilience, and strength you’ve built are exactly what the world needs. You are proof that healing is possible, both for yourself and for the patients you serve.

    Recovery is a journey, not a destination. And for me, this journey continues in the trenches—one patient, one connection, and one day at a time.

  • The Need for Expanded Crisis Intervention Services in Maine and Training for First Responders

    The Need for Expanded Crisis Intervention Services in Maine and Training for First Responders

    Crisis intervention is one of the most challenging yet critical aspects of public service, especially in rural states like Maine. As a first responder and mental health advocate, I’ve seen firsthand how the gaps in crisis intervention services directly affect the well-being of individuals and communities. In a state where resources are already limited, these gaps can leave vulnerable populations without the support they desperately need during moments of crisis.

    At the same time, first responders often find themselves at the forefront of these crises, acting as the first—and sometimes only—line of support. However, without proper training in crisis intervention, many of us are left feeling unprepared to provide the level of care these situations demand.

    This blog post dives into the current state of crisis intervention services in Maine, the challenges first responders face, and why Crisis Intervention Training (CIT) is essential for improving outcomes for everyone involved.

    Limited Crisis Intervention Services in Maine

    Maine faces unique challenges when it comes to crisis services:

    1. Geographical Barriers: With vast rural areas and small towns, access to crisis services can be a logistical nightmare. Individuals in remote areas may face significant delays in receiving the help they need.
    2. Understaffed Crisis Teams: Many regions lack sufficient crisis intervention professionals, meaning teams are often overworked and unable to respond promptly to calls. Wait times for follow-up care can stretch for weeks or even months.
    3. Lack of Comprehensive Support: For many individuals experiencing a mental health crisis, emergency rooms and law enforcement become the default points of contact. These systems are not designed to provide the kind of holistic care that mental health crises often require.
    4. Stigma and Misinformation: Stigma around mental health often prevents individuals from seeking help until the situation escalates into a full-blown crisis. This further strains the limited resources available.

    The Role of First Responders in Crisis Situations

    First responders—EMS, firefighters, and law enforcement—are often the first to arrive when someone is experiencing a crisis. We are tasked with de-escalating volatile situations, ensuring safety, and providing care until further support is available. Yet, without specialized training, many of us lack the tools needed to address the mental health component of these emergencies effectively.

    The emotional toll of these encounters can also weigh heavily on first responders, leading to burnout, compassion fatigue, and mental health challenges of our own. The lack of adequate training amplifies these challenges, leaving responders feeling overwhelmed and underprepared.

    The Importance of Crisis Intervention Training (CIT)

    Crisis Intervention Training equips first responders with the skills to handle mental health crises effectively. CIT focuses on de-escalation techniques, communication strategies, and understanding the signs and symptoms of mental illness. It empowers responders to:

    • De-escalate situations without the use of force.
    • Provide immediate, compassionate care to individuals in crisis.
    • Connect those in crisis with appropriate resources, reducing the likelihood of repeated emergencies.
    • Recognize their own emotional responses to these situations, fostering resilience and mental wellness.

    States that have implemented CIT programs have seen remarkable outcomes, including reduced injuries to both responders and individuals in crisis, fewer arrests of individuals experiencing mental health emergencies, and better long-term outcomes for those individuals.

    Notable examples include:

    Tennessee

    Tennessee has developed a comprehensive statewide CIT program, emphasizing collaboration between law enforcement and mental health professionals. The program focuses on training officers to de-escalate crises and connect individuals to appropriate services, resulting in reduced arrests and improved safety.

    Namitn

    Ohio

    Ohio has established a robust CIT program with a focus on community-based responses to mental health crises. The state’s approach includes specialized training for law enforcement and strong partnerships with mental health agencies, leading to better outcomes for individuals in crisis.

    Mental Health Portland

    Maryland

    Anne Arundel County’s CIT program in Maryland has been recognized for its excellence, receiving a platinum certification from CIT International. This distinction highlights the program’s adherence to best practices in crisis intervention and its success in fostering collaboration between law enforcement and mental health services.

    CBS News

    Minnesota

    Minneapolis launched the Behavioral Crisis Response (BCR) program, dispatching unarmed mental health professionals to 911 calls involving behavioral health crises. Since its inception in 2021, BCR has responded to approximately 20,000 calls, providing timely and compassionate services, and has been praised for its effectiveness in addressing mental health emergencies.

    Wikipedia

    Oregon

    Eugene’s CAHOOTS (Crisis Assistance Helping Out On The Streets) program serves as a model for alternative crisis response. Operating since 1989, CAHOOTS dispatches teams of medics and crisis workers to respond to mental health crises, reducing the burden on police and emergency medical services. The program has inspired similar initiatives across the country.

    Wikipedia

    These examples demonstrate the effectiveness of CIT programs in enhancing responses to mental health crises through training, collaboration, and innovative approaches. Implementing similar programs can lead to better outcomes for individuals in crisis and the communities they reside in.

    A Call to Action for Maine

    To address the gaps in crisis intervention services and training, Maine needs to take action:

    1. Increase Funding for Crisis Services: This includes hiring more crisis workers, expanding mobile crisis units, and improving access to follow-up care.
    2. Mandate CIT for First Responders: Making CIT a standard part of first responder training would better prepare us for the realities of our jobs and improve outcomes for individuals in crisis.
    3. Raise Awareness: Public education campaigns can help reduce the stigma surrounding mental health and encourage individuals to seek help before crises occur.
    4. Collaborate Across Disciplines: Bringing together mental health professionals, first responders, and policymakers can foster innovative solutions tailored to Maine’s unique challenges.

    Conclusion

    The role of crisis intervention is not just about responding to emergencies—it’s about creating a system of support that prevents crises from happening in the first place. For first responders like myself, Crisis Intervention Training offers a pathway to more compassionate and effective care. For Maine, investing in crisis services and training represents a commitment to the well-being of our residents and the health of our communities.

    As a state, we have an opportunity to lead the way in creating a model of crisis response that prioritizes humanity, understanding, and resilience. Let’s rise to that challenge—together.

  • National Legislative Efforts for First Responder Mental Health: Why We Must Keep Raising Our Voices

    National Legislative Efforts for First Responder Mental Health: Why We Must Keep Raising Our Voices

    First responders are the backbone of our communities, showing up during our worst moments to protect, heal, and save lives. Yet, the toll of witnessing trauma and carrying the weight of those experiences is often overlooked. Despite the undeniable need, resources for mental health support remain inadequate. Thankfully, there are growing efforts at the national level to address these issues, but it’s up to us to ensure they don’t fall through the cracks.

    In a previous post, I discussed how first responders can engage in policy advocacy to create meaningful change. Now, let’s dive into the current legislative efforts and why your voice is crucial in pushing these initiatives forward.

    Current Legislative Efforts

    1. First Responders Wellness Act

    Introduced in July 2024 by Senators Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) and Josh Hawley (R-MO), this bipartisan bill proposes the creation of a grant program to enhance mental health services for first responders. It also includes the establishment of a national mental health hotline specifically for law enforcement officers, firefighters, EMTs, and others on the frontlines.

    Current Status: The bill has been referred to the Committee on the Judiciary, where it awaits further review.

    2. CARE for First Responders Act (H.R.6415)

    Introduced in the House in November 2023, this bill seeks to provide specialized mental health, substance abuse, and crisis counseling services to first responders. The aim is to address the unique challenges these professionals face, including chronic stress and burnout.

    Current Status: Referred to the Subcommittee on Economic Development, Public Buildings, and Emergency Management for further discussion.

    3. Fighting Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Act of 2023

    Reintroduced by Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) in early 2023, this legislation aims to establish programs designed to help first responders cope with the long-term effects of trauma, such as PTSD and depression.

    Current Status: Under consideration, with ongoing discussions about how to best implement and fund these programs.

    The Alarming Reality: Suicide Rates Among First Responders

    The mental health challenges faced by first responders are profound, with suicide rates notably higher than those of the general population. A study by the U.S. Fire Administration analyzing data from 2015 to 2017 found that first responders accounted for 1% of all suicides during that period. Within this group, 58% were law enforcement officers, 21% were firefighters, 18% were EMS providers, and 2% were public safety telecommunicators.

    Further research indicates that 37% of fire and EMS professionals have contemplated suicide, a rate nearly ten times higher than that of American adults. A 2018 white paper by the Ruderman Family Foundation revealed that police officers and firefighters are more likely to die by suicide than in the line of duty.

    These statistics underscore the urgent need for comprehensive mental health support tailored to the unique challenges faced by first responders.

    The Need for Continued Advocacy

    Legislative efforts like these are an incredible step forward, but they can’t stop here. Bills like the First Responders Wellness Act and the CARE for First Responders Act are only the beginning. To make real change, we need to ensure these efforts are not only passed but also expanded upon and adequately funded.

    Mental health is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for the longevity and well-being of the people who protect us. Without proper support, first responders face increased risks of burnout, PTSD, depression, substance use, and even suicide.

    What Can We Do?

    As I’ve shared before, first responders have a unique and powerful voice in policy advocacy. Here’s how we can ensure these bills move forward and inspire further action:

    1. Contact Your Representatives

    Share your story and explain why these bills matter. Personal accounts from first responders carry immense weight in demonstrating the need for change.

    2. Raise Awareness

    Use your platform, whether it’s social media, local meetings, or community events, to inform others about these legislative efforts.

    3. Collaborate

    Partner with advocacy organizations focused on first responder mental health. Groups like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and local firefighter and EMS unions are often at the forefront of these battles.

    4. Stay Engaged

    Track the progress of these bills and hold your representatives accountable. If progress stalls, follow up.

    A Call to Action

    The time for action is now. Legislative momentum can waver without visible public support. It’s up to us to keep the conversation alive, push for better mental health resources, and ensure that the government invests in the well-being of first responders.

    We must continue to demand more—not just for the passage of these bills, but for the expansion and funding of mental health initiatives across the board. When we advocate for ourselves and our peers, we create a safer, healthier future for everyone.

    Let’s raise our voices together and ensure that these critical efforts become law. The well-being of our first responders depends on it.

    If you’re unsure where to start with policy advocacy, check out my previous post on how first responders can get involved. Let’s make our voices heard!

  • From Darkness to Purpose: How I Found My Calling Through Sobriety

    From Darkness to Purpose: How I Found My Calling Through Sobriety

    I still remember the sound of the bottle opening—the sharp hiss of pressure released. It was my signal to exhale, to let go of the stress, to numb the fears I couldn’t face. It began innocently enough, a glass of wine here, a drink there, just to take the edge off after a long day. I was juggling so much at the time: graduate school, single motherhood, and a leadership role at the University of Maine, managing nearly 60 senators representing every graduate program. The weight of it all was enormous, but I was proud of how well I seemed to handle it—at least on the surface.

    Then came 2020.

    The Covid pandemic didn’t just disrupt the world around me; it unraveled the fragile thread holding me together. As a leader during such an uncertain time, I felt a responsibility to remain calm and composed. But inside, I was breaking apart. To cope, I began drinking more—just enough to calm my nerves. It felt harmless at first, even justified. After all, wasn’t everyone finding their own ways to deal with the stress?

    What I didn’t realize was how quickly alcohol had taken hold of my life. What started as an occasional escape became my crutch. Then, seemingly overnight, it became my master. I couldn’t sleep without it. I couldn’t wake up without it. The shakes, the headaches, the constant anxiety—it all demanded I drink just to function. And yet, I was still showing up, still leading, still pretending everything was fine.

    But it wasn’t fine.

    My dependence on alcohol grew in the shadows, invisible to those around me. I was isolated in leadership, feeling like I had no one I could turn to for support. So I turned to the bottle instead. Alcohol became my confidant, my escape, and my prison.

    In just a few months, my life crumbled.

    The responsibilities I had once carried with pride became unbearable. My credibility eroded as the people around me began to see the cracks in the façade. I lost opportunities I had worked so hard to earn. I lost the respect of others, but worse, I lost respect for myself.

    At my lowest point, I found myself sleeping in my car. I had gone from a self-supporting single mom in graduate school and leadership to a homeless woman with nothing but a pile of shattered dreams. My rock bottom wasn’t just a moment; it was a freefall into despair.

    But here’s the thing about rock bottom—it’s also a foundation.

    My recovery started with small, painful steps. Admitting I needed help. Reaching out to people I thought I had alienated forever. Facing the shame and guilt I had drowned for so long. I had to rebuild my life piece by piece, brick by brick, with nothing but the will to survive and a faint hope that maybe—just maybe—I could do better.

    In sobriety, I began to discover not just who I was, but who I was meant to be. My life had been saved—many times, in many ways—by the hands of first responders and healthcare workers. Their compassion and courage became a beacon for me, lighting the way forward. I decided I wanted to give back to the very field that had saved me.

    I became an EMT, then a firefighter, and later found my place in healthcare, working in an emergency department. For the first time, I felt like I was part of something greater than myself. I had found my calling—a purpose that made my pain feel meaningful.

    This work doesn’t just encourage my sobriety; it demands it. I could not perform this job effectively if I weren’t committed to maintaining my recovery. The same tools I once ignored or dismissed—self-awareness, stress management, healthy coping strategies—are now essential to my success. Every shift is a reminder of how far I’ve come and why I must keep moving forward.

    I’ve replaced the bottle with better tools: mindfulness, connection, and a deep commitment to serving others. Instead of running from my emotions, I’ve learned to process them, to face the hard days head-on, and to find strength in vulnerability.

    The irony isn’t lost on me that the career I once feared would judge me for my past has become my greatest ally in staying sober. In helping others, I’ve also helped myself.

    Today, I am not just sober—I am alive, awake, and thriving. I am proud of the person I’ve become, but I never forget the woman I was. She’s the reason I fight so hard to stay on this path.

    If you’re reading this and struggling, I want you to know it’s never too late to rewrite your story. Recovery is possible. A life of purpose and joy is waiting for you on the other side.

    Because sometimes, the worst chapters of our lives are the ones that teach us how to write our best.

  • Support Systems: How My Recovery and Careers Intersect with Community and Mentorship

    Support Systems: How My Recovery and Careers Intersect with Community and Mentorship

    As I reflect on my journey through recovery and my career as a first responder and healthcare professional, one common thread runs throughout: the importance of a solid support system. My success in both arenas—recovery and my professional life—has been shaped, nurtured, and uplifted by the mentors and community that surround me. From recovery groups to colleagues, friends, and mentors, these relationships have been key to my growth and healing, as well as to my ability to excel in a high-pressure environment where mental health often takes a backseat.

    The Role of Mentorship in Recovery and Career

    Recovery is not a journey taken alone, and neither is a career in first response or healthcare. I have been fortunate to have a group of individuals who have guided me through the rough patches, supported me through the trials, and celebrated my victories—no matter how small they might have seemed.

    One of my most influential mentors is Ron Morin, often referred to as “The Grandfather of EMS in Maine.” Ron has not only shared his invaluable knowledge and experience but has also offered personal guidance, helping me navigate the complexities of the EMS world and the challenges that come with it. His mentorship has extended beyond the technical and professional, touching on the personal aspects of resilience and perseverance in the face of adversity.

    Equally important is my counselor, the clinical director at Recovery Connections of Maine. He has been a constant source of support as I work through the emotional aspects of recovery. His ability to provide a safe, non-judgmental space for me to process my experiences has been crucial in helping me stay grounded and focused on my healing. This safe space has allowed me to dig deeper into the roots of my struggles and has provided me with the tools to continue moving forward.

    I also owe a great deal to my life coach, Jenny Sheriff, who wears many hats as a charge nurse in the Emergency Department and a former paramedic. Jenny has been instrumental in helping me find balance and clarity in my work and personal life. Her perspective, both as a healthcare professional and a person with her own wellness journey, has provided invaluable insight into managing stress, expectations, and self-care. She reminds me of the importance of staying centered amidst the chaos, something that is often difficult to do in our line of work.

    On a more personal level, I am blessed to have a close-knit circle of friends and colleagues who have become my emotional support system. My best friend Sadie, who is a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner practicing in the state of Maine, has been more like a sister to me through all of my ups and downs. She has patiently stood by me through trials and tribulations, and provides her keen insight on medication management and the mental health system as a whole. Barbara, a colleague and close friend, is always there to lift me up, especially during tough times. Our shared faith and the prayerful moments we’ve spent together have been a deep source of comfort and strength. And then there’s Graham—my partner. His unwavering love and encouragement are a constant motivator, pushing me to strive for my fullest potential, both in recovery and in my career, and to love myself every step of the way.

    I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the most significant influence in my life: my Mother. Her resilience in the face of adversity set the tone for everything I would come to face. It is from her that I inherited my stubborn optimism and my unwillingness to give up, even in times of struggle. Watching her handle life’s challenges with grace and strength shaped my own outlook on overcoming hardship. She taught me that no matter how hard the road gets, there is always a way forward. Her example continues to guide me in my recovery and in my professional life, reminding me that resilience is something we can all cultivate, no matter the circumstances.

    Building Your Own Support System: Advice for Others

    If there is one thing I have learned along the way, it’s that a strong support system is non-negotiable. If you are in recovery, a first responder, or healthcare worker, or if you are navigating any of life’s challenges, seeking out mentors and building a support network is essential.

    Start by identifying the people who inspire you—those who show up, not just in your moments of success but also in your moments of struggle. Look for individuals who challenge you to grow, who hold you accountable, and who lift you up when you feel like giving up. It’s okay to be vulnerable and open with those who have walked a similar path, as their experiences and guidance can make all the difference.

    In my own journey, the recovery community has played a crucial role. Attending recovery meetings, participating in group therapy, and being part of peer support networks have all given me the opportunity to connect with others who understand the struggle. These meetings have provided a space to share, listen, and learn from others, reinforcing the idea that I am never alone in my experiences. Having access to individual therapy and psychiatry has been just as vital. My psychiatrist, for example, creates a collaborative environment where I can discuss my medications and lifestyle changes in detail, always ensuring that my mental health is prioritized and that we are working together to find the best solutions for my well-being.

    The Power of Community

    In addition to my mentors, I am deeply inspired by the many individuals I work with in both the recovery and healthcare fields. I am constantly motivated by my colleagues in the Emergency Department—doctors, nurses, EMTs, and paramedics—who set incredibly high standards for themselves and for their patient care. Their dedication, work ethic, and commitment to excellence challenges me to raise the bar in my own work and recovery.

    Similarly, I find inspiration in the recovery community. So many individuals extend themselves beyond what might seem realistic—juggling service to others, family responsibilities, and their own recovery journeys with grace and commitment. This willingness to put in the work, even when it’s difficult, reinforces the importance of community and accountability in maintaining long-term recovery.

    Conclusion: The Intersection of Recovery and Career

    When I think about the intersection of my recovery and my career, I realize that both have grown and flourished because of the support systems I’ve surrounded myself with. It is these people—my mentors, colleagues, friends, family, and especially my mother—who have shown me that success in recovery and career is not about doing it alone. It’s about building a community, seeking guidance when needed, and being willing to lean on others when the road gets tough.

    For me, finding faith in a Higher Power has also been instrumental to maintaining my recovery. In times of struggle, when the pressure feels overwhelming, it is my faith that strengthens me and gives me the courage to keep moving forward. The quiet moments I spend in prayer after a particularly hard day help me process the emotional weight of my work and personal experiences. Without this faith, I would not be able to deal with the difficult realities of my job, especially in handling the deceased in my role at the hospital. It is through this faith that I find the strength to do this deeply emotional work, knowing that I am not alone.

    For anyone who is on a similar journey—whether in recovery or in their professional life—know that mentorship, community, and faith are key. Seek out those who inspire you, who challenge you, and who offer support. You don’t have to do it alone.

  • A Day in the Life of a First Responder in Recovery: What It Really Takes

    A Day in the Life of a First Responder in Recovery: What It Really Takes

    Being a first responder and healthcare professional is a high-stakes, high-pressure job. It requires not just physical strength but also emotional resilience, mental clarity, and the ability to stay focused in life-or-death situations. As someone who is both a first responder and in recovery, managing these two aspects of my life is a delicate balancing act. I’m often asked, “How do you do it?” How do I navigate the chaos of a first responder’s day while also staying grounded in my recovery process? Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at what it really takes.

    The Early Start: Grounding Myself for the Day

    The first step in any day for me, whether I’m on shift or not, is grounding myself. Mindfulness is a core practice that sets the tone for everything that follows. The minute I wake up, I take a few minutes to breathe deeply and check in with myself. I ask, “How am I feeling today?” It’s easy to rush through life, but being in recovery has taught me the importance of being present.

    I start with a brief meditation, which helps clear my mind and allows me to step into the day with intention. It’s amazing how just five minutes of stillness can reset my energy and outlook. I’m reminded of the Alcoholics Anonymous saying, “One day at a time.” This has become my mantra; no matter what the day holds, I can handle it if I stay present and take it one moment at a time.

    Staying Physically and Mentally Strong

    Being physically active is a critical part of my routine. As a first responder, I need to be in top shape to meet the physical demands of the job, but regular exercise does more than just build strength—it’s a major part of my emotional and mental well-being. Whether it’s a run, yoga, or some strength training, I prioritize movement in my daily schedule.

    While on shift, I prioritize ergonomic movement. Any time I am engaging my muscles, even while sitting, I try to ensure that I am engaging my core, centering the weight I’m carrying- large or small, and lifting in proper form. Between calls or in the break room at the hospital, I do some simple stretches that keep me connected to my body, and that help to build awareness of where I may need some attention or strength training.

    Along with physical fitness, proper nutrition plays a key role in both my recovery and my ability to handle the physical stress of the job. I’ve learned that fueling my body with whole, nutritious foods gives me the energy and mental clarity needed to perform well. I also take mental health medications as prescribed, ensuring that I’m supported emotionally.

    Something I’ve added to my regimen is LifeVantage Protandim. This supplement helps target oxidative stress, something that can accumulate from the intense demands of my job and recovery process. Protandim supports my cellular health and overall vitality, which is essential for handling both the physical and emotional stress of being a first responder in recovery.

    Facing the Emotional Challenges of the Job

    The emotional toll of being a first responder can be overwhelming. We face situations that most people can’t even imagine—helping in life-threatening emergencies, being with people on their worst days, and witnessing suffering. There’s also the added weight of responding to calls where you can’t save someone, or dealing with a tragedy that lingers long after the call has ended.

    One of the ways I manage the emotional challenges of the job is through journaling. Writing allows me to process what’s happening in my mind and heart. It’s a safe space where I can release the emotions I may not always be able to express in the moment. Journaling is part of my ongoing emotional self-care and helps me clear out the mental clutter.

    I also rely heavily on my recovery community. When I found a non-judgmental group of individuals who understood what I was going through, it was life-changing. We’ve built a community that is rooted in service, support, and understanding. In recovery, we say, “We are only as sick as our secrets,” and being open and vulnerable with others in recovery has been critical for me to stay grounded.

    Counseling has also been a cornerstone of my long-term recovery and resilience, both on and off the job. The confidentiality protected by HIPAA means I can openly discuss the challenges I face in my role as a first responder and healthcare professional without the fear of breaching professional or personal boundaries. Knowing that I have a safe, non-judgmental space to air my thoughts and process my emotions has been invaluable. My counselor offers an unbiased perspective, helping me gain clarity, hear different viewpoints, and develop healthier coping mechanisms for life’s challenges. This support has been instrumental in maintaining my mental and emotional well-being through the ups and downs of both my career and recovery.

    The Power of Unity, Service, and Recovery

    There’s a deep connection between service and recovery. I serve my community as a first responder, but I also serve within my recovery network. It’s not just about what I can do for others on a call; it’s also about how I can show up for my fellow recovering individuals. The saying, “You can’t keep what you have unless you give it away,” is a reminder that the more I serve others, the more I strengthen my own recovery.

    The unity within the recovery community is powerful. I’ve found that by sharing my experiences, struggles, and victories, I not only help others, but I also help myself. It’s a reminder that no one walks this path alone.

    Finding and Relying on a Higher Power

    In my journey of recovery, one of the most significant changes I made was acknowledging the importance of a Higher Power. In our line of work, we are trained to handle everything ourselves, to be the ones who always have the answers. But in recovery, I learned that I don’t have to go through this alone. I’ve found peace in surrendering to a Higher Power—whether that’s God, the universe, or whatever spiritual force you believe in. It’s an act of trust, letting go of the need to control everything and instead having faith that I am supported, no matter what happens.

    The connection to a Higher Power is crucial, especially on days when things feel out of my control. I remind myself of the AA quote: “Faith without works is dead.” Trusting in my Higher Power doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing—it means I stay proactive in my recovery while also trusting that I am being guided in the right direction.

    Life-Changing Books That Shaped My Journey

    Reading has been a transformative practice in my recovery. Some books have helped me understand myself better and have given me the tools I need to continue growing.

    Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” was a game-changer. It taught me the importance of being present and how to detach from the mental chatter that often drives us to act impulsively. Understanding that “the present moment is all we have” has been a cornerstone of my recovery. It has taught me to let go of past regrets and future fears, focusing instead on living fully in the now.

    Another influential book was Russell Brand’s “Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions”. His insights on addiction, recovery, and spiritual awakening resonated deeply with me. Brand’s humor and brutal honesty made me feel understood and gave me hope that recovery was not just possible, but something worth living for.

    An End-of-Day Routine: Reflecting and Recharging

    When the workday ends, my job doesn’t stop affecting me immediately. I’ve learned that it’s essential to have an end-of-day routine to help me decompress, reflect, and transition from the intensity of my shifts back to myself and my recovery.

    I begin by debriefing with myself—whether through a short prayer, meditation, or journaling. This is my time to process the events of the day, express any emotions that might still be lingering, and clear my mind before I rest. Journaling, in particular, helps me unload the weight of the day, reminding myself of what I’ve accomplished and what I still need to release.

    I also make it a point to connect with my friends and family, even if it’s just through a series of texts or instant messages. Reaching out to them reminds me that I’m not alone and that they love and support me. It’s a simple yet powerful way to stay grounded in the relationships that matter most. Sometimes, I’ll share something about my day, other times it’s just a reminder of how much I care and look forward to seeing them again soon.

    A vital part of my evening is taking time to express gratitude. I do this either mentally or in my journal, listing the things I’m thankful for—whether it’s the support of my loved ones, the strength I’ve found within myself, or the simple gift of being able to serve others. Gratitude keeps me humble and reminds me that I have much to be thankful for, even on tough days.

    To help me fully unwind, I indulge in a comfort ritual, which usually involves a warm cup of tea. On some nights, it’s kava or chamomile, both of which soothe my mind and body. On others, I opt for a cup of hot cocoa with lots of marshmallows, depending on my mood. It’s a little moment of warmth and peace before I settle into bed.

    Afterward, I shower to unwind my body, soothing any aching muscles from a physically demanding day. It’s also a way to wash off the grime of the day, both literally and metaphorically, clearing myself from whatever dirt, bodily fluids, or emotional weight the shift may have brought.

    Finally, before I go to sleep, I take a moment to thank my Higher Power for the gift of another day—another opportunity to be of service to others. I express my gratitude for getting through the day, for the strength to face whatever challenges arose, and for the chance to rest and recharge for tomorrow.

    Tips for First Responders Balancing Work and Recovery

    If you’re a first responder or healthcare professional in recovery, or anyone juggling work and recovery, here are some tips that might help:

    1. Start your day with intention: Whether it’s meditation, prayer, or journaling, set a positive tone for your day. Grounding yourself first thing will help you navigate the chaos of the job.
    2. Prioritize your physical and mental health: Regular exercise, healthy food, and taking your medications are essential for keeping your mind and body in good shape.
    3. Leverage your support network: Build relationships with others who understand your journey. Recovery doesn’t have to be a solo path. Lean on others, and offer your support in return.
    4. Embrace service: Whether it’s through your work as a first responder or within your recovery community, service is a powerful way to stay connected and strengthen your own recovery.
    5. Trust in a Higher Power: Let go of the need to control everything. Trust that you are supported and guided, no matter what challenges you face.

    Final Thoughts

    A day in the life of a first responder and healthcare professional in recovery isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. It requires strength, dedication, and a deep commitment to both the job and the recovery process. Through mindfulness, community support, and a connection to a Higher Power, I’ve learned to manage the challenges that come with my profession and stay grounded in my recovery. It’s not about perfection—it’s about progress, one day at a time. And that’s what keeps me moving forward.

  • The Silent Epidemic: Substance Use and Mental Health in First Responders

    The Silent Epidemic: Substance Use and Mental Health in First Responders

    First responders are often hailed as heroes, people who put their lives on the line every day to protect and serve their communities. However, behind the sirens and the courage, there is an undeniable, silent epidemic: the link between mental health struggles and substance use. The very nature of their work—responding to life-threatening situations, witnessing tragedy, and managing high-stress emergencies—creates an environment where mental health challenges are common. Unfortunately, many first responders turn to substances as a way to cope, often unknowingly feeding into a dangerous cycle that can impact their lives and careers.

    The Coping Mechanism: Substances and Mental Health

    Substance use, whether it’s alcohol, marijuana, or other drugs, is frequently used as a coping mechanism to manage the overwhelming stress and trauma that first responders face daily. These substances may offer a temporary sense of relief, dulling the emotional pain of a difficult call or a sleepless night, but this relief is fleeting and comes with significant risks.

    Alcohol, in particular, is commonly used as a way to unwind after a shift. However, the impact of alcohol on sleep and stress hormones cannot be ignored. While alcohol might help someone fall asleep faster, it actually disrupts the quality of sleep, preventing the body from entering restorative deep sleep. This sleep disturbance can worsen mental health conditions like anxiety and depression, both of which are prevalent among first responders. The regular use of alcohol also interferes with the body’s stress response system, exacerbating feelings of stress and making it harder to cope with daily challenges.

    Marijuana, which has been legalized both medicinally and recreationally in Maine, is often viewed as a less harmful alternative. However, it comes with its own set of risks. While marijuana may seem to offer stress relief, it does not actually reduce stress in the long term. In fact, using marijuana can worsen anxiety and emotional dysregulation over time, making it more difficult to process emotions effectively. Moreover, marijuana can impair cognitive functions such as judgment and reaction time, which is especially dangerous for first responders who need to be sharp and clear-headed when making life-saving decisions, particularly when driving emergency vehicles.

    When Does Substance Use Become a Problem?

    It’s important to recognize when substance use has crossed the line from a temporary coping mechanism to a problem. Signs that substance use is becoming a problem include:

    • Increased tolerance – needing more of the substance to achieve the same effect.
    • Mood swings or emotional numbness that lasts long after using the substance.
    • Physical symptoms such as hangovers, poor sleep, or gastrointestinal issues.
    • Negative impact on work – including missing shifts, declining performance, or unsafe practices.
    • Relationship issues – conflicts with family, friends, or colleagues.
    • Using substances to cope with stress, anxiety, or trauma, rather than addressing the root cause.

    If you notice any of these signs in yourself or a colleague, it’s time to seek help.

    Stories of Recovery: A Path Forward

    Recovery from substance use is not only possible but can be transformative. Many first responders have shared their stories of overcoming substance dependence and turning their lives around. Rehab programs and support groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA), provide a crucial support network. These programs offer not only sobriety tools but a community of individuals who understand the unique challenges of first responders.

    For me, my own journey to sobriety has been both liberating and life-changing. On July 29, 2020, I made the decision to live a life free from mind-altering substances. Little did I know, this decision would not only change my health and my mindset but would also be the catalyst that led me to the career I have today in emergency medical services and fire fighting. Had I not chosen sobriety, I might have never answered the call to serve as a first responder. Sobriety connected me to my true calling, and since then, I’ve found that the alternative stress management techniques I use—like meditation, exercise, and connecting with others—allow me to process trauma in a way that substances never could.

    Treatment Options: Finding Help

    If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, it’s important to know that there is help available. Treatment options for substance use disorders are varied and can be tailored to fit individual needs. Inpatient and outpatient rehabilitation programs provide structured environments to help individuals detox and learn new coping mechanisms. Support groups like AA, NA, and even specialized groups for first responders can provide a sense of community and understanding during the recovery process.

    In addition, therapy options such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and trauma-focused therapy can help address the underlying mental health issues that often contribute to substance use. These therapies work to reshape negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and trauma.

    The Importance of Sobriety

    Living a life free of substances is not just about avoiding the negative impacts of alcohol and drugs. It’s about gaining clarity, strength, and resilience in the face of trauma. Sobriety has given me the tools to handle stress and trauma in healthier ways, without relying on substances to dull the pain. My ability to serve as a first responder has been strengthened because I can think clearly, react appropriately, and make decisions based on my training and experience—without the clouding effects of substances.

    As first responders, we must advocate for better mental health services, not only for those we serve but for ourselves as well. It’s time to end the stigma surrounding mental health in our profession and embrace sobriety and recovery as pathways to healthier, longer careers and lives. If you are struggling with substance use, know that there is no shame in seeking help. Your health, both mental and physical, depends on it.


    If you are in need of assistance or support, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted peer- such as myself, a professional, or a support group. Sobriety is possible, and it can lead to a brighter future, both for you and the community you serve.

  • A Suicide Survivor’s Journey: From Darkness to Purpose

    A Suicide Survivor’s Journey: From Darkness to Purpose

    In 2009, during my Freshman year of High School, my world collapsed under the weight of emotions I didn’t fully understand. In an alcohol-induced blackout on New Year’s Eve, drowning in hopelessness, I overdosed on Tylenol. By the time I could remember what I had done, three days had passed, and my liver was in critical condition. My liver enzymes had risen to levels above 40,000, and my body had suffered several blood pressure spikes, bringing me perilously close to a stroke. It was an act born of pain—a desperate cry from someone who felt lost in the dark. Yet, by some miracle, I survived.

    My recovery was nothing short of a medical marvel, made possible by the compassionate and skilled teams at Stephen’s Memorial Hospital, Maine Medical Center’s Barbara Bush Children’s Hospital, and the dedicated crew at Lifeflight of Maine. Their expertise and care saved my life. But recovery was more than just healing my body; it was about facing the deeper wounds—the mental and emotional scars—that had led me to that point. It was about finding ways to cope with the chaos surrounding my life at the time, and building better resilience to the challenges I faced in life.

    Waking up in the aftermath of my attempt wasn’t easy. I was fragile, both physically and emotionally, and consumed by shame. But surviving forced me to confront the depth of my mental health struggles. It set me on a long and winding road toward healing—a journey filled with setbacks and doubts, but also with reclaimed hope and personal growth. Along the way, I discovered the transformative power of self-awareness, professional care, and a steadfast commitment to change. I had many clinicians along the way that contributed to my healing, and taught me mechanisms and strategies for coping that I still practice today.

    Sobriety became another cornerstone of my journey. On July 29, 2020, I made the decision to live a life free from mind-altering substances, including alcohol and marijuana, after falling into the grips of addiction in college. This choice was critical for my mental and physical well-being, ensuring that my prescribed medications worked effectively and allowing me to return to healthier coping mechanisms. Sobriety has brought me clarity, strength, and a deeper understanding of what it means to live authentically. It brought me community, connection, and a deeper relationship with a Higher Power. It’s a decision that made it possible for me to begin my work in the field as a first responder.

    That defining chapter began in November of 2020 when I found a new sense of purpose in the field of emergency medical services. I started out driving an ambulance at a rural service, became an EMT in 2021, and took the next step by becoming a firefighter in 2022. Today, I work in the emergency department of one of Maine’s largest hospitals, using my EMT license to provide care and comfort to patients during some of their most difficult moments. These roles have not only helped me find meaning in my own life but have also allowed me to connect deeply with others in life-changing ways.

    Working at different levels in the field of emergency services has shaped my understanding of resilience and purpose. It’s not just about the care we provide in the heat of the moment—it’s about what happens after the sirens fade and the adrenaline wears off. I’ve seen firsthand how stress and trauma can take a toll on first responders. That’s why I’ve made it my mission to support my peers, helping them navigate the unique challenges of our work. I strive to be a voice that says, “You are not alone,” to the men and women who dedicate their lives to saving others.

    The urgency of addressing mental health in emergency services is undeniable.

    According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), firefighters and law enforcement officers are more likely to die by suicide than in the line of duty. EMS clinicians are also more likely to take their own lives compared to the general public.

    To anyone reading this who is struggling: you are not defined by your darkest moments. Healing is possible, and there is a future filled with purpose and connection waiting for you. Whether you’re grappling with mental health challenges, substance use, or the weight of trauma, it’s okay to ask for help. You are not a burden. The path may be long, and it may be difficult, but every small step you take is a step toward strength and resilience.

    Remember that you are not alone in this journey. Surround yourself with supportive people who understand your struggles and can walk beside you as you heal. Embrace the process of self-discovery, be patient with yourself, and celebrate every victory, no matter how small. Transformation takes time, but it is possible. And on the other side, there is a brighter, more fulfilling life waiting for you.